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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:53 AM CST
America Version 2.0- Part Two
The days leading up to to the break-up of the former America made for a lot of strange bedfellows, but it was too little, too late. People who still called themselves "Americans" were broken down into different types: The Seers, The Mandroids and The Sleepwalkers.
The Seers- The Ones dispatched to Earth to record humanity's collective death rattle by way of a biological, internal black box like the ones found on airplanes to capture the final moments of disaster. The Seers had advantages that the New Owners wanted to either employ for Their own ends, or to simply wipe them out so that they could not be used against Them. The Seers had abilities that The State was very interested in, so They tracked the Seers from birth. In addition to having photographic memories and the ability to remember any voice after hearing it just once, the Seers had biological paranormal abilities such as telekinesis, telepathy, psycometry (the ability to glean data just by touching an object, especially metal) and remote viewing. The Seers were targeted as potential assets or outright threats to the New America, so it was not advantageous for them to fly their freak flags so unabashedly. If the Seers did not agree to work in the employ of The New Owners of America (to become "Mandroids"), then the Seers were subjected to lifelong harassment until they willingly lobotomized themselves via psychotropic drugs and prescription medicines that either genetically altered their abilities or neutered them of their gifts. If they opted for neither route, they were outcast to the fringes of mainstream life where they tried to fly below the radar and to rise above the Mandroids and Sleepwalkers.
The Mandroids- The Mandroids were once Seers who made the decision to use their abilities in the employ of the New State. The Mandroids lost the use of their organic paranormal abilities by consuming vast amounts of synthetic substances that chemically enhanced their abilities to make them synthetic super humans. The Mandroids were half cyborg, half human chameleon like creatures who had cameras installed in their retinas, recorders implanted in their ear canals and programming chips embedded in their tongues.
The Mandroids had no choice but to continue mining data for The New Owners, for they were dependent on the prescription drugs fed to them by State Medics. Once they stopped taking the drugs, they lost ALL of their abilities both organic and synthetic and were as harmless as defanged pitbulls. If they got to this unfortunate state, they became a food group known as Sleepwalkers.
The Sleepwalkers- The Sleepwalkers were the vast majority of former human Americans. They were the ones who not only never questioned authority, but they were trained like attack dogs to go after all who did. The Sleepwalkers raged against any and all who tried to explain that the old American dream was now the New Nightmare. The Sleepwalkers were too comatose to care. The Sleepwalkers believed that the New Teevees were the word of God and that the Teevee News was the gospel. The Sleepwalkers counted burning books in their dreams. The Sleepwalkers did as they were told and told on those who didn't.
-to be con't
Posted: Wed Jan 7, 2009 8:31 AM CST
America Version 2.0- Part One
2011, the year that the formerly United States came unraveled at the seams like a dollar store American flag sewn by tiny, slave laboring fingers in China. A rash of widespread geo-political blunders, eco- disasters, man-made diseases, a looted treasury, bankrupted and hollow Federal Reserve, the introduction of the 20,000,000,000 bill and riots at grocery stores with threadbare shelves humbly silenced those who just two years prior smeared anyone who predicted the trainwreck that was the fall of the house of Babylon as 'conspiracy theorists'. The visionaries tried to resist taking sadistic schadenfreude in the suffering that was the lot of the land, torn and bleeding like an Oklahoman born-again Christian homecoming queen's hymen on prom night. It was no small measure of relief and vindication for having been attacked by ones fellow former countrymen simply for trying to shake the zombies out of their digital, evangelical, pharmaceutical and genetically modified food enhanced slumber.The post American zeitgeist of 2010 was not unlike South Africa in the early mid-nineties, when the initial waves of jet-setting expatriates and neo-colonialist landowners licked their collective index fingers, felt which way the arid Bantu wind was blowing and fled for Europe, Canada and America.
Checkpoints by android military contractors (the old military consisting of maimed, parapalegic humans had been disbanded, wiped out by depleted uranium and post traumatic stress disorder) with teams of robot dogs scanning the remaining population for contraband like unauthorized communication devices, food, plants, herbs, vitamins, and water not sanctioned by the Homegrown Terrorists Security Agency throughout the country were commonplace, as were dusk curfews in cities overcrowded with dusky people.
People who once believed that the New Owners of the former America would take pity on them if only they submitted to and aligned themselves with the Order of the New Owners were the first to lose everything. They all watched what they once believed about America being exposed for the lies that they now were. The right-wing 'Jesus Action Figures', the ones who babbled about the Antichrist, cheering, "Who Would Jesus Bomb?" and bragging about having sacrificed their only begotten, unemployed and disenfranchised sons and daughters on the altars of the perpetual unholy wars in the Holy Land, believed that their bibles, stockpiles of canned food and guns would see them through the rapture that they had all been waiting for were the first ones to be targeted.
Their evangelical fervor was not enough to withstand the disillusionment on their faces when the military androids swept through their neighborhoods with scanners and sensors aimed at their homes. It took having their homes raided and being stripped searched by Androids before the Jesus Action Figures finally realized that they had been used as unwitting pawns in a series of cynically cultivated culture wars against gays, midwives, alternative healers, single mothers, the impoverished, anyone unfortunate enough to be born with a higher percentage of melanin or with a foreign sounding name. It took being treated like the ones who only just recently, the Jesus Campers looked down on with smug contempt from the comfort of their Jesus Incorporated retreats in sterile, big chain hotel suites in suburban small towns.
-to be con't.
copyright by sanfranchicky 2009
Posted: Tue Jan 6, 2009 7:30 AM CST
Zombie Insomniacs
You let them tell you what to do
from the cradle to the grave
your mind is molded, too-
bet my kitty is more brave.
like puppets on a string,
you dance while Master sings.
your ego's not your soul,
but you know nothing of these things.
your mind is flat, cold and plastic
like a debit credit card
your personality's elastic
like rubber glass in jelly jars
brainwash your mind with golden showers,
you're nothing but a blank slate.
I watch the minutes turn to hours
before you step up to the plate.
Your heart is made of cardboard
and your tongue is formed of steel
you're dreaming while you sleepwalk,
thinking your life is really real.
copyright by sanfranchicky 2009
Posted: Mon Jan 5, 2009 9:11 AM CST
Circle Jerk Jinx 4: The Snake Consumes Itself
What happened next was a series of bizarre coincidences. The online forum pack began to get picked off by the vril energy. One by one, all who gloated about having a go in the forum 'gang bang' met with one freaky accident more strange than the last. The common denominator was that the mishaps all involved the 4 elements of nature; earth, air, fire, water. One thing that no one could pretend not to notice was that the coroners reports all listed the cause of death as "misadventure".
Some of the Circle Jerk Berserkers of the online forum packs just disappeared. The homeless people who were written off as crazy in their respective neighborhoods ranted and raved about having seen each one of the online forum pack members picked up by animal control officers headed for the local pound, with dates set for termination. Some of the ones who'd managed to assume enough human form to escape being put down in the pound were attacked by packs of feral animals when their DNA morphed yet again to animal form in the night air, mangled body parts found in advanced states of decay.
Some of the Circle Jerk Berserkers who had as of yet escaped the fate of their more unfortunate pack members had arrogantly laughed off notions of "jinxes" and such things as the sole province of the superstitious, the touched, the 'San Francisco pothead liberals' and the insane. That was until each remaining one, no matter how nominal their snarky contribution to the forum gangbangs, began to email the survivors, reporting a collective nightmare of a fearsome female being with a pierced black tongue, wearing a necklace festooned with human skulls and brandishing a scythe who visited each and every one of them during their sleep.
Every last one of the rest of the online Circle Jerkers had the same nightmare; from the bitter, grizzled old Nordic who'd been used and discarded like disposable chopsticks by shrewd yellow women for green cards whom he'd stupidly underestimated as yielding and dumb, to the bespecled former military jock tormented by latent homoerotic desires, to the dumpy, morbidly obese girl who ceaselessly ate away the painful memories of her father's and brothers unwelcome caresses, to the dowager living a life of quiet desperation surrounded by bars and security measures so as to protect herself from the vengeful indigenous Black people who were methodically claiming their homeland back by any means necessary, to the unemployed Texan trucker who foolishly clung to the hope that because he shared the same values, skin color and state as GW Bush that he would somehow be spared of the economic culling, to the middle aged middle American guy who believed that his self worth could be increased by aligning himself with the power of precious gems, to the Southern Californian-by-way-of-South American refugee escaping the blowback of angry peasants fed up with neo-cons and their foreign brand of neo-imperalism, to the wanna-be NASCAR hopeful who still believed in the Cheney gang's American dream even as he'd given up his own provincial dreams of stock car racing for the pragmatism of washing cars in used lots.
One of them however, having been a dilletante of one of the more trendier Eastern disciplines (strictly as a means of seducing naive, religiously repressed and rigidly sheltered, suburban strip mall Shaktis with his drug-addled, enigmatic koans), did not ignore the nightmares of the Circle Jerk Jinx, nor did he write his paranoia off to his manic consumption of methamphetamines.
He printed a copy of each and every last one of the Circle Jerkers' photographs and burned them in an impromptu purification pyre after a night of copious meth smoking and meditation, sobbing silently as he watched the clouds from his glass pipe entwining with the smoke from the photos like the sacred double helix of the twin snakes, endlessly undulating around the staff of life.
THE END
copyright by "sanfranchicky" Jan. 2009
Posted: Sun Jan 4, 2009 10:59 AM CST
Circle Jerk Jinx 3: The Alpha B*tch
The girl tried to silence the muses, but they would not shut up until she gave them life via the stories. They gave her migraines until she wrote down the visions. The vril was at work, the visions would not stop, she could do nothing to stop them until she finished the story replete with the horrifying visions.
Circle Jerk Berserker 2:
One of the online forum Circle Jerk Berserkers, who for some strange reason known only to herself, had a lot invested in convincing herself that she was the 'Alpha B*tch' of the online forum chain of fools whose sole raison d' etre was to harass and gang up on anybody who dared post independent thoughts in the forums. This chain of fools jealously guarded their precious online forums in packs with a form of arrested development rivaled only by that of punk bully brats on a short school bus who would attack en masse any new kid who dared sit in one of their designated seats, but only in a posse where their mob behavior propped each other up and masked the individual weaknesses of each one of the pack.
The middle aged Alpha B*tch of the online clique had no friends in her life outside of her job as an assistant manager at Walmart and as a single mother. She relished her role as a puppet mistress of the forums, cackling to herself anytime she had the opportunity to bare her fangs and snarl at anyone who threatened her position.
She'd received a phone call about the horrible accident of the first Circle Jerk Berserker that left him in a vegetative state after not seeing his online presence for a while.
She brushed her teeth in the mirror, thinking of the poor guy's accident, only to see the formation of a canine fang protruding from her upper gums. She paused and reflected on the yellowing fang and made a mental note to get it removed, only she had no idea how that would happen with her lack of dental insurance from the stingy policies of Walmart. She went to work to discuss her options with her superiors.
At Walmart the next day, she began to instruct the new cashiers, defying the unspoken social contract of allowing at least three feet of space between herself and the employees. They recoiled in horror as she barked the instructions, the words coming out in tortured, incomprehensible yelps and growls. She stopped and excused herself to the bathroom to finger the fang peeking from underneath her lip, even when her mouth was closed. That is when she discovered the patch of fur on the back of her right hand. She decided to excuse herself as sick and attempted to tell her supervisor that she needed to go to the doctor. Every other word was a bark or a growl, she had to speak the sentences three times before the supervisor could understand her plans to see a doctor. Her supervisor recoiled at her mouth as she spoke and told her to leave right away. As the Alpha B*tch walked toward the door leading to the parking lot, she heard the other employees and her supervisor whispering that not only did she have a face like that of a dog, but her breath smelled like a German Shepard with a forgotten rotting soup bone stuck in its' maw.
The tears flowed as she half walked, half crawled to the car in the employee parking lot. Her hands shook as she reached into her purse for the keys and started to unlock the door. She collected herself and adjusted the seatbelt, too afraid to look in the mirror even as she heard her sobs stop and the panting begin. She gingerly turned the mirror toward her face and saw a paper thin, red, long, steaming wet tongue hanging down beneath her wet snout, draping her jaw. She tried to scream, but only barks came out. She shoved the keys in her hands and tried to turn over the ignition, only to realize that her hands had morphed into fur covered paws with claws that kept slipping and sliding off of the keys.
-to be con't
Posted: Sat Jan 3, 2009 3:22 AM CST
The Circle Jerk Jinx: Part 2
It all started when she was a baby. She was a home wrecker upon birth, uprooting a marriage and causing a town scandal in the process. The lustful, chaotic energy force that propelled her being into the world wanted her here for some reason she hadn't yet quite discovered, but it caused a lot of people a lot of misery in the meantime. Nurses at the hospital said that the child had a life force theretofore unseen in any other infant in the baby ward.
Her paternal grandfather's middle aged alcoholic girlfriend must have sensed it. She despised the infant child whose old soulful brown eyes elicited unsolicited compliments from total strangers of every race. That woman, who reeked of a Bowery brewery, sensed what this child was and attempted to interfere with the force that brought her to life. The newborn's young mother instinctively knew that the wiggy old lush who was her father's companion meant the child no good, and made every effort to never leave the child alone with the grotesquely made-up hag. Her vigilance to protect the child failed one day when she left the kid in the kitchen momentarily to use the bathroom. As the baby's mother walked back to retrieve the kid in the kitchen, she heard a loud crash and the infant squalling. She ran into the kitchen to see the basinet broken on the floor and the drunken hag straddling the frightful scene, too guilty to look the mother in the eye and explain what happened. Three days later, the old bitch suffered a stroke and died instantly.
The child grew up with fantastic nightmares and vivid daydreams. She sang to pretty nature fairies of both sexes and laughed at imps hiding under her bed. She went through an awkward stage from the age of 8 to 13, almost as if nature was preparing her to forge character able to withstand men's ceaseless scrutiny and women's cattiness. It scared the sh*t out of her. One minute she was everybody's kooky gothic friend, the next minute, her girlfriends dads were making eyes at her and their moms lost sleep over the way her clothes now fit.
She tried to fit in and blend in with the rest to no avail. Fuses blew constantly whenever she was around with no explanation. Somehow she managed to defy the odds of other kids with similar demographics. Somehow she always met the right people. Somehow she always defied bad luck and averted tragedy, an odd stranger materializing out of nowhere at the last minute almost like magic. She had premonitions that always came to pass but she never shared with anyone for fear of ridicule, so she just wrote.
Then there was the searing anger and the soaring ecstasy that she was blessed and cursed with, depending on one's personal philosophy. The vril didn't wreak havoc until she sensed that one mocked her to quell their fears of it. She knew that the vril would be triggered only when someone made her rare blood boil. That only happened if one did something stupid and rash based on that fear. Weak men developed destabilizing fixations on her. People knew it, whether they hated her for it or not.
That's when the tragedies started and people spread nasty rumors of witchcraft, never to her face. Her mother contacted an agency that tests and tracks youngsters like this.
The girl still didn't know what to make of all of this, it was alienating and exhilarating all at once. On the one hand, she risked triggering envy if she discussed this with 'average' ones who sneered and mocked anyone whose abilities stood out. If she tried to hide it, she felt guilty when she 'saw' things happening. That is when she began to write. To forsee the future and to warn those who might be humble and aware enough to take heed. At least she cleared her conscience that way. And slept like a baby when it finally all began to unfold......
-to be con't
Posted: Fri Jan 2, 2009 6:20 AM CST
The Circle Jerk Jinx (a short story series) Part 1
Circle Jerker Berserker # 1:
He started an online gangbang of trolls, patting himself on the back with satisfaction as he managed to sic a gang of tortured goobers on whomever he directed his flying monkeys to attack.
Such virtual power he had, even if in real life, he couldn't get most women to spit on him. Why should he have to make excuses for being rude and condescending to a woman, especially a Black woman who, thank GOD, was even lower than he on the food chain of Western media perception? Lashing out on online dating forums was an excellent way to mask not only his hostility at all women for rejecting him, but to create an alter ego of everything he was not: smart, attractive, self-confident, self-contained, independent and masculine.
He smiled to himself at his latest online pile-on, smirking at himself in the mirror after the online onslaught of a woman who had the temerity to wound his pride after he tried to humiliate her. "This makes up for all of the women, the b*tches who laughed at me whenever I worked up the nerve to ask for the numbers, the c*nts!" he seethed through tightly stretched, chapped thin lips covered in flecks of mucous spittle.
It was no difficult task rounding up other souls as tortured as he was in online forums, no shortage of the walking wounded and battle scarred whom he could corral like diseased cattle, directing his motley assortment of forum puppets and tools to give each other scribed reach-arounds because they were too weak to attack anything by themselves and too sick and dependent on herd mentality and group conformity to walk out of the piles of bullsh*t they often found themselves up to their wobbly, newborn calf knees in.
After hours of this game, he decided to get in his car and pleasure himself as he drove, rubbing his bald, brown, pointy cone-shaped head and thought about his latest online pile-up. He closed his slitty, reptilian eyes for one second and re-lived his most witty assaults, mouthing the words and chuckling to himself as he pulled down his zipper and gave himself the only physical relief that he hadn't paid for in years.
He opened his eyes just in time to see a large white truck flying over the divider into his lane almost supernaturally, defying time, space, physics. He managed to let out one last blood curdling scream as he honked his horn helplessly before the impact and his last visual memory was that of being showered with a hailstorm of round glass shatters and crimson splatter spraying all over his steering wheel as the windshield cracked and warped inward, bending almost perfectly in two symmetrical halves.......
to be con't.
Posted: Thu Jan 1, 2009 3:52 PM CST
Magic Wishes For 2009 (grey magic)
May my friends do well and continue to thrive
May my extended family stay safe and alive
May all those who've vexed me
be hexed by this spell
Heaven on earth for my allies
and to my foes? an earthly hell.
Hijackers need to win
because they're nothing but losers
still coping from trauma of high school abusers
Never try to dominate
with fear and hate
that which you can't
intimidate or subjugate
For if you do, you will learn in time
and think of me when you're crying
with your partners in crime
Life lessons like spirals
and the loopy number eight
Your karma comes back
it's the haters fate.
Peace on earth to all those who seek peace,
peace of the grave to hate that won't cease.
So mote it be, it is done.
Yay! Cheers and HAPPY NEW YEARS!
Posted: Mon Dec 8, 2008 6:16 AM CST
Divide and CONQUER
Watching
out of the corner or my eye
at the forces who
whisper evil on the sly
at the creatures who
sell swords to both sides
at the creatures who swell and
collect the wealth as we all die
Listening
as best as I can with my good ear
to the forces
gorging lke bulimic vampires on fear
to the forces slurping national fortunes
like cheap beer
Knowing
with the heaviness of my heart
that the forces
who pit humans against each other
must set everyone apart
that the humans
who buy into it
won't realize that they've
sold themselves short
As they divide and conquer us just for sport.
Posted: Sat Dec 6, 2008 8:14 AM CST
Politically Incorrect Jokes,
..and the passive aggressive clown-tools who selectively construct and laugh at them in online circle jerks:
It seems that as of late, there has been a strong and predictable backlash to neo-puritanical forms of thought control that govern modes of conduct in all levels of institutions. The de rigueur thing to do is to resist this thought control and prove how 'politically incorrect' one is by making jokes at various ethnicities or races, just as long as whomever you make fun of doesn't actually have the power to hold you accountable for your 'humor', like..oh, I dunno.... throwing you in JAIL to rot for questioning the unquestionable or laughing at sacred kosher cows. Haven't you heard? It's ALL the rage to be obnoxious, tacky and crude and get away with it by tossing off with a quick, "It's just a joke"!!!! This lame attempt at 'having a piss' at someone else's expense is even more pathetic coming from any group of people who've been oppressed by upper class Anglos or Europeans and collectively classified as the n*ggers of Europa. But hey, I guess that everybody needs a dog in the wok to kick so they can feel less pissed on by their betters, right?
Jokes and humor are much easier to laugh at when the yuks come at the expense of someone who does not look like you do or a group of humans who have been historically dehumanized by the dominant groups who dictate how others are perceived globally in the media. If you REALLY wanna be funny with politically incorrect jokes, why don't you start a nice one about your own mama and your grandpa/daddy on the night of your conception? What? Was it something I said, mate? Why so sensitive all of a sudden, mate? Was them fightin' words I said?????What happened to that fabulous sense of humor of yours? Why so thin-skinned all of a sudden?
"Politically Incorrect Humor" is a fantastic means of passively aggressively masking offensive hostility in polite society within the context of 'edgy' humor, and anybody who takes a moment to further examine the motives of one who makes such jokes is just written off as a PC nazi, like a 5 year old who wipes his boogers on the other kids' lunch plate and whines, "You're nooooot the boooooss of meeeeeeeee!" when called out for it.
I would never tell people to stop embarassing themselves for all the world to see by inhibiting their oafish brand of 'humor'. After all, the internet doesn't make you stupid, it just lets everyone else see how really stupid you are. Newsflash: you are not brave, you are not clever, hip, edgy or innovative. You are more regressive than a fossil at Stonehenge, and definitely less evolved, since as a human, you should know better. So with that being said, I have a test for ALL of those who like to rib, provoke with jokes and race bait via politically incorrect jokes: If you REALLY wanna prove just how cool, courageous, brave, hip, and "un-PC" you are, then why don't you EVER, EVER start threads with really good Jewish jokes or jokes at the expense of Israelis? What, what happened to that sense of humor of yours, buddy? Lost it all of a sudden, huh, tool??
Why not some good jokes about THAT since you brag about making fun of EVERYONE?
:crickets chirping:
Yeah, just as I thought. Your fear of taking up this challenge and the EXCUSES that you can muster for NOT taking it on are FAR more hilarious than your efforts at insulting the Chinese or whomever you've deemed it safe to crack jokes at this week. BTW, for those who like to make snide jokes at the Chinese, China being one of the world's emerging superpowers, let's hope that your pithy sense of humor consoles you when you or your kids are pulling your hair out in frustration trying to fill out a McDonalds' application in Mandarin. Pwned!
Now back to your regularly scheduled canned laugh tracks and PROGRAMMING.