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Posted: Tue Jan 6, 2009 6:13 PM CST
On a Diet
Well, now christmas and new year is over, now everyones feels fatter, time for dieting has come.
And I'm not looking forward to it as will no-one els but the christmas ars and stomach must go so all I will say is ("Good luck, I dont think") You'll need it, if you went as mad as I did. LOL.
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:03 PM CST
the pain
I have brused a rib and it hurts to move and like a typical man i need tea and sympathy lol and i dont mean sex as that even hurts lol
Posted: Tue Dec 2, 2008 3:30 AM CST
Posted: Mon Dec 1, 2008 10:51 AM CST
Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:52 AM CST
JOKE of the week!
Stages of Drunkeness
0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.
1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.
4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of pretzles one by one.
5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.
6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing ass.
7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.
9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.
10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 9:13 AM CST
Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:29 PM CST
another funny joke.
A vicar and a man go golfing and the man misses a 6 yard shot and says " damet missed the bugger" and then he misses a 3 yard shot and says "damet missed the bugger" and the Vicar say " say that once more and the heavens will open and god will strike you dead. then the man misses a 2 yard shot and says "damet missed the bugger" so the heavens open and god strikes the Vicar dead and god says "damet missed the bugger" haaaaahahahaha
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 10:31 AM CST
Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:19 PM CST
my new pic
here is my best pic on my profile that i just put on. what do you think????
Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 11:19 AM CST
OFF TO VEGAS JOKE
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.
'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'