Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:23 PM CST
Pre-Booty Call Agreement
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2009, by__________ _________ ____, between ____________ and______ ________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have nothing to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" crap - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended, stuff happens
12. No extra clothing - I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go to your own home!
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care!
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
19. No Balloon = No Party or simply put No condoms.....no sex. Take your skanky, infected ass home!
20. Bring your own drink - I am not a liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for you.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature___ _________ _________ _________ _________
Date: ____________ ____
Participating Party
Signature___ _________ _________ _________ _________
Date: ____________ ____
__._,_.___
Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:55 AM CST
View from an Empty Brain
The world is becoming clearear everyday.
Being sober sure helps and not being nagged or judged helps even more.
Life has situations, problems and occurances. DRAMA is what YOU make of it!
Where this is hope -- there is light
We Ain't Friends
You're an EX
Why don't you get over it?!
You're used goods and I only like new!
I went a little crazy
But I'm Back.
Now that you're gone
I tried the bars and loose women
I hung out with old friends
I made some new friends,
young friends cool friends
But I'm BACK! Now that you're gone
Don't compare me to
Harrison Ford, I'm no carpenter
Tim McGraw, I'm no singer
Don't compare me to
Your new boyfriend, I'm ain't that young
My Daddy, I ain't that smart.
I hope you have fun out there wherever you're going.
I miss you
But you've turned into a whore
I told you when you left
You ain't comin back!
There's life buried under the rubble of a broken heart.
I'm not interested in jumpin into that fire from this comfortable frying pan.
Is She "Breakfast worthy"?
Sometimes it's hard not to buy your own BS.
Dreams are not Goals
Wishes are not Dreams
Prayers aren't always answered.
Posted: Sat Jan 3, 2009 11:57 PM CST
More Random thoughts
Don't Fight It
U Know I'm Right
Just here for the fun
not a long time
Make Rain
No Pain
All Gain
No Games
Used to be Broke
Not enough for a coke
Now the money's here
U all up in my ear
I'm not living at your standards
Up or Down just Not Gonna Do It
I'm still me. It's you that changed
I'm tired of the hurting.
I'm tired of seeing you cry
Lets' just call it over
Let's just call it done
You want something new
I'm happy with the "old"
our old friends, my old job
My old mother, My old ways!
You're looking for different
You're looking for "never-hads".
Hope you happy with that
Wannabes, posers, playas
Take you for granted
Just the way you want.
We shoulda called this a draw a long time ago
No winners. No losers.
Just split the pot and leave the table.
My life didn't work out the way
I thought it would
Some might say it didn't
turn out good.
I think it is the way it's
supposed to be
With or without you I will
Still BE ME.
Money don't mean shit
unless you friends
to enjoy it with!
Posted: Sat Jan 3, 2009 10:31 PM CST
Random Thoughts from the last 3 months
I want people to think I'm cool
But I won't play the game
I smile and laugh at you
for the drama you bring
Should started running a long long time ago
I've worked with strippers
and stripped for workers
they both have been fun.
I been there
done that
seen it
drank it
smoked it
U AIN'T SHIT
Stay with me
Learn How
I teach
U Reach
I spark
I KILL
Words are hard
Can't stop 'em