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Sense Not So Common

Every now and then, I have an idea about some small and mundane thing that will make life better. I put my idea into practice, and, lo and behold, it works! Excited, jubilant, even proud of myself for thinking of it, I mention it to someone in passing, only to find out that person has been doing it for ages. My glee invariably elicits an odd look, because I am informed that it's something that lots of people do all the time. I used to feel dumb when this happened, but I know I'm not dumb, so now I'm curious. How is it that I missed something so basic?

My latest solution arose out of my desire to sleep in clean sheets. I have two Great Danes who I love dearly, but they get a lot of sand and dirt in my bed during the day while I'm at work. Although I'm not as fussy as the Princess in 'The Princess and the Pea,' I really dislike feeling gritty bits in my bed at night. A few days ago, I discovered that if I make my bed in the morning before I go to work, the beasts can snooze to their hearts' content AND I get that smooth, gritless feeling that makes me go 'Ahhhhhh" when I crawl in at night.

Smug at my resourcefulness, I mentioned it to a colleague in passing. She looked at me like I had two heads! 'You're supposed to make your bed every morning; I've been doing it all my life,' she retorted. Unbelieving, I casually polled a few other colleagues and preliminary quantitative data appears to support her theory.

So now I'm wondering: have you ever made your bed before you slept in it? When did you come up with the idea to do it?
*Note: sheet-changing days do not count because everyone knows you have to make your bed when you change the sheets.

It Ain't Me, Babe

I realized something about myself recently. In looking for a partner, there have always been things that I knew I couldn't deal with, like pedophilia, current drug addictions, baldage, or rap music, but something I hadn't given much thought to was work ethic. I mean, I'm a professional, but I don't care if a guy is blue-collar or white-collar, management or labor, under contract or self-employed. What I do care about is that he's employed. I seem to be meeting a lot of 'retired' or 'on disability' guys lately, and I just don't understand it. These guys claim to be 'retired' at age 46, and they don't mean just from their first or second careers. They sit around all day doing nothing yet they don't come to pick me up in a limo, so I'm sure they're not independently wealthy. I've heard complaints about the economy, excuses about industry, and one guy even came right out and said "I worked hard for 20 years; now it's my time to relax and enjoy life." Um, ok, I've been working for 30 years so far, with at least another 10-15 ahead of me before I can afford to retire. Even then, I'm sure I will keep my hand in by working part-time or volunteering, doing something to make a difference, I hope.

So now I have a new quality to add to my dealbreaker list: work ethic.

Looking For Mr. Goodbar

I rarely identify strongly with anyone.
But there was one character in one movie that struck me from the minute I saw it until this very day. The movie was made in 1977 but I didn't see it until '79 or '80. It was hot stuff at the time.
It's not only the actions of the character, but the actual emotional makeup as she responds to life. From the way she responds to sex, religion. authority, and convention to the way she sleeps with pillows between her legs, it feels like she is me in many ways... like someone snuck inside my head and took my most private thoughts and put them out there for everyone to see.
I am watching it again tonight and it's sparking discussion.
I can see inside my head from the outside.
And the beat goes on...

Amelia in the Cactus Tree

I've immersed myself in Joni Mitchell-land the last few days. I go through phases where I like to listen to certain artists, music, or genres. It's been Joni for the last 48 hours. And I've been having this raging debate with myself about what I consider her best work. In among the more mundane aspects of life such as dishes and feeding dogs, laundry and weeding, bills and paperwork, I vacillate between one and the other.

Is it "Amelia?" Or is it "Cactus Tree?"

In "Amelia," Joni compares her life to Amelia Earhart:

A ghost of aviation
She was swallowed by the sky
Or by the sea, like me she had a dream to fly
Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms
Amelia, it was just a false alarm

Her dream to "fly" was her dream to love. And I dig the line, "It was just a false alarm;" it's fraught with personal meaning.

People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Others just come to harm
Oh Amelia, it was just a false alarm

When I listen to "Amelia," I sense Joni's need to escape, to remove herself from her own existence in order to find herself. I get this restless feeling throughout it, and feel her inner conflict of wanting to be independent while craving love and companionship.

I wish that he was here tonight
It's so hard to obey
His sad request of me to kindly stay away
So this is how I hide the hurt
As the road leads cursed and charmed
I tell Amelia, it was just a false alarm

Maybe I've never really loved
I guess that is the truth
I've spent my whole life in clouds at icy altitude
And looking down on everything
I crashed into his arms
Amelia, it was just a false alarm

"Amelia" symbolizes the lone traveler in life; Joni was "looking down on everything" from Amelia's view and "crashed into his arms," fell in an unrequited or impossible love.
*Sigh.

In "Cactus Tree," I see more of the internal conflict which fueled so much of her early material.

There's a man who's climbed a mountain and he's calling out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear three thousand miles away
He calls again
He can think her there beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
And the branches sang the chorus
As he climbed the scaly towers
Of a forest tree
While she was somewhere being free

She is unsure of how to open up completely; her love is restrictive, a barrier to her freedom.

There's a lady in the city and she thinks she loves them all
There's the one who's thinking of her
There's the one who sometimes calls
There's the one who writes her letters
With his facts and figures scrawl
She has brought them to her senses
They have laughed inside her laughter
Now she rallies her defenses
For she fears that one will ask her for eternity
And she's so busy being free

"Cactus Tree" is about love and freedom, and how to reconcile the two extremes.

There's a man who sends her medals
He is bleeding from the war
There's a jouster and a jester and a man who owns a store
There's a drummer and a dreamer
And you know there may be more
She will love them when she sees them
They will lose her if they follow
And she only means to please them
And her heart is full and hollow
Like a cactus tree
While she's so busy being free

She doesn't want to settle for an ordinary life. Her heart is "full and hollow, like a cactus tree" - the metaphor describes the frustration she felt at herself in being so closed off to others.
*Sigh.

I still can't decide. I like them both best.

Metaphorgasmic Musings

A young woman told a friend about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed just as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her friend went into the kitchen, where she filled 3 pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. In 20 minutes she turned off the burners, and fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to the woman, she asked, "Tell me what you see."Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the woman replied. Her friend asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The friend asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the friend asked her to sip the coffee. The woman smiled as she tasted its richness and savored its aroma, and asked, "What does it all mean?"

Her friend explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

-The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
-The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
-The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

The carrot seemed strong, but with pain and adversity wilted, became soft, and lost strength.

The egg started with a malleable heart, but hardened.

The coffee bean changed; it released fragrance and flavor, and became even better.

We all handle adversity differently. I was born an egg, but I strive to be a coffee bean...

Weatherless Day

People always talk about the weather.

I have noticed that the majority of people like and wish for warm, sunny days.

Are you with me so far?

Ok, in my mind, weather is a meteorological condition in which something happens:
rain drizzles
rain pours down steadily
snow flurries
snow bombards
hail happens
sleet slushes
thunder rumbles
lightening flashes
fog drifts
wind whips

Therefore, a calm, sunny day is an absence of weather to me. I get nervous that maybe we'll never have weather again.

Weather is good, even when it's bad. It reminds us that we are mere mortals and that nature is bigger and badder than all of us. It reminds us that we are insignificant in the grand scheme of things...

Physics For Dummies

Do you know what a "naked star" is?

A naked star is one with most of its gaseous exterior stripped away. Naked stars are valuable to scientists because they can get a clear look at the nuclear engines that keep stars burning bright.

Do you know how naked stars get to be revealed like that? It's due to close encounters with other stars.

I find something very human about that.

Man as a Subject

What is a man to me? Seems to have been redefined continually over the years. Having grown up in homes with no men and an ignorant, scornful woman, I was taught at an early age that men were like other people's dogs: nice to play with once in a while, but you were always glad to send them home when you didn't want to play anymore.

Then I realized how much I liked men, even though they weren't normal people to me, but yet there was a certain excitement about being with a man, and doing real live people things with him.

Then the worst thing happened when I let one matter to me and I was disappointed. What was I thinking?????

But the next step is a new one. Rather than revert back to the dog mentality, I seem to be moving ahead to a different place, a place where I know more than I used to. Each day is an exploration...

Burning Down the House

Watch out
You might get what you're after
Cool babies
Strange but not a stranger

I went to some friends' house on the beach tonight. There was a lot going on. Drinks were flowing, snacks were munched on, and smoke was wafting on the cool breeze coming off the water

Hold tight wait till the party's over
Hold tight
We're in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way

There were introductions and pleasantries, conversations and agendas. Men were eying women, women eying men, couples sizing up new toys.

Here's your ticket pack your bag
Time for jumping overboard
The transportation is here

Hinduism came up in one circle. I learned some believe there are 3 types of karma:
1. absolute karma attached to a soul across time
2. relative karma that begins and ends in a lifetime
3. pre-ordained karma, like a jarful of fireflies

Close enough but not too far,
Maybe you know where you are
Fighting fire with fire

It was explained that the belief was that all religions were working toward some end, and that no one was 'wrong.' I liked the tolerance inherent in that philosophy.

All wet
Hey, you might need a raincoat
Shakedown
Dreams walking in broad daylight

The breeze, heavy with salt spray, made everything moist inside and out. In the rear-view mirror, I watched as the place and all in it got smaller and smaller until they disappeared.

My house is out of the ordinary
That's might
Don't want to hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house