Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:17 PM CST
Realizing Relationships
Being in my late thirties now, I have begun to realize that actual REAL relationships are not about being "in love". Sure, you love the person you are with, care deeply for them, you enjoy the time you spend together, so having that friendship above all things is the most important thing. Being able to tell the other person anything, being the "other half", knowing THE worst about that person, and it being OK...thats a relationship. Commitment, Loyalty, Communication and Honesty...thats what it really comes down too.THATS what makes it work.
People fall in and out of love all the time, but its that friendship they have that keep them together. Its how much of a commitment to being with the other person you are willing to have. Being honest with yourself as to the expectation(s) and being a loyal partner to the one you are with and being able to say "Hey...that Zing is not there anymore, but I DO love them and who they are..."
I think that being able to be friends and knowing that it's something that you can count on is a great starting point in any relationship.
Commitment: To me, is accepting your partner for who they are no matter what...all their quirks, weirdness, all the positives along with the negatives. All the bumps in the road that get passed, all the pot-holes that get hit... THATS a commitment.
Loyalty: To me, this is staying true to the things that are the most important in the relationship. Being a true partner through all the hard times and the good times too...Learning and growing together. Having the knowledge and being secure in the fact that you KNOW they will not screw around behind your back.
Communication: Self-explanatory...talking with each other, sharing ideas, laughing AT each other and WITH each other. Being able to say "Hey, I like that idea, but maybe we can try it this way too?"...compomise...openness...all communication.
Honesty: This is a hard one as it encompasses a lot of things...to me, its self-explanatory: just like communicating with each other, being able to be open to ideas, talking about problems that may arise, sharing your feelings without judgment or criticism and being able to deal with it if there is something that the other person doen't like.
There is always SOMETHING that attracts you to the other person you are with - interests, style, looks, the sex, you "click" in some way, shape, or form. There IS always SOMETHING. It doesn't mean the there is spontaneous combustion (because that usually is superficial, and a temporary feeling ), but there is always that something that says "Hey, this is kinda cool..."
I value being able to be friends and have a relationship too. There is no relationship without it, no matter WHAT kind of relationship you have.
Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:57 PM CST
Todays Quote
I was out of town yesterday and missed it for Saturday, but got todays one:
"I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life."
Eleanor Roosevelt
Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:02 PM CST
Todays quote...
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)
Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:46 PM CST
Todays thought
"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway" ". Maya Angelou
:)
Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:25 PM CST
thought for today..
"Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap,
thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever
asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back
is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with
this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you
mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else
left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a
peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But
they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So
you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled
with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and
if you're desperate enough to eat those, all
you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled
with useless, brown paper wrappers. "
- Cigarette Smoking Man (X-Files)
Posted: Sun Sep 9, 2007 8:52 PM CST
today
is a much better day...i got to talk to my "friend" and things seem ok...but i don't cross my fingers and i don't count on him like i use to. i just wish this shit was easier then this. one can be sooooo smart, but REALLY REALLY stupid.
Posted: Fri Sep 7, 2007 10:50 PM CST
whatever
So I have kinda been seeing this guy...not "seeing" seeing, but we hang out and all that, a FWB deal... and its like Im not there, ya know? Im tired of TRYING so damn hard. I should not HAVE to. Yeah, I have feelings for him, but he would rather sit at home in front of the computer GAMING. Uhuh. yeah. Not my deal, and I HATE being ignored all the damn time. I just asked if he wanted to go to the Highland Games this weekend...his reply: "Doesn't sound ike my thing". ARGGGGHHHHH!!!! Its NOT a thing...it's FUN damnit. FUN FUN FUN. Not a THING! It's going somewhere and DOING something WITH a HUMAN...a real person. Pisses me off and I think Im done with it...men can be such assholes.