Tactics of Manipulation

Have you ever been in a situation where you are aware that you're being manipulated, but you can't put your finger on just how to describe what's happening? Well, in his book, 'Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People,' George K. Simon has identified 12 different ways in which someone (usually called 'the aggressor') can manipulate you. If you recognise that you're being manipulated in the ways described below, take action to protect yourself adequately.

1. Denial

The aggressor refuses to admit that he has done something wrong in any given situation. Instead, he makes you feel that your accusations about his behaviour are unfounded and unjustified.

2. Selective inattention

Selective inattention is similar to denial. Here, however, the aggressor 'plays dumb' – he ignores you when you warn him and chooses to do what he wishes. He will not allow anything or anyone to distract him from pursuing his own agenda.

3. Rationalisation

The aggressor explains his way out of any situation by rationalising and justifying his behaviour so that he can pursue his own goals.

4. Diversion

When you confront the aggressor, he changes the subject with such speed and finesse to successfully distract you from his bad behaviour.

5. Guilt-Trip

The aggressor just has to suggest you don't care enough or are too selfish and you will immediately feel bad. This, by-far, is the easiest form of manipulation.

6. Lying

Lying is the time-tested method of manipulation and works like a charm when the aggressor is good at it.

7. Shaming

The aggressor uses subtle sarcasm to increase your fear and self-doubt. It reaches the stage where you feel ashamed of who you are and what you're doing, even when you don't need to be.

8. Playing the victim

Here, the aggressor will try to convince you that he's suffering in some way to gain your sympathy. He counts on the fact that you don't like to see others suffer and will rescue him.

9. Seduction

The aggressor will try to charm, praise and flatter you incessantly in order to get you to trust him completely and be loyal to him.

10. Playing the servant

The aggressor pretends to work hard on your behalf. In truth, his real ambition is to dominate you and take over your position.

11. Blaming others

The aggressor never takes responsibility for his own actions. Instead, he is adept at making you the scapegoat for any problem that arises.

12. Minimisation

The aggressor insists that his abusive behaviour is really not as harmful or irresponsible as you think it is. In other words, this aggressor 'makes a molehill out of a mountain.'

Truthfully, you are subject to a number of manipulation tactics regularly. However, problems arise when such manipulation tactics are taken to extremes and cause you unhappiness. If you would like to minimise the negative impact of being manipulated, you need to identify if the aggressors mentioned above exist and take measures to eliminate or reduce their influence in your life.