Considerations for Unwilling Singles Before Hitting the Dating Scene

Being a long-time member of the singles community suits the needs of people who do not want to settle into a long relationship. Becoming a single can be more difficult for new singles coming out of long-term relationships. If you were recently dumped by a person who moved on to greener pastures, do you feel like an unwilling single? If you answered yes, then you need time to work through this new situation. The singles scene is not going anywhere. Before you focus on meeting new people, try these four ways to improve your situation as an unwilling single before hitting the dating scene again.

1. Now is the right time to take stock of yourself. Face it. You are older and wiser. You might expect to find different qualities in a future dating partner, especially based on lessons learned in the relationship that just ended unexpectedly. Think about what you have to offer, what type of partner you seek, and what boundaries you will set this time.

2. Let go of the jilted lover drama. You have to give yourself time to heal from the rejection of your most recent lover and to release any bitterness in your heart. Some people eventually view a relationship that ends unexpectedly as a blessing in disguise, while other people can never get past the rejection. Be sure you have made some kind of peace with negative feelings about your last relationship so that negativity does not sour your future relationships.

3. Deal with other mental and emotional baggage. When you think about what went wrong in past relationships, you can identify at least one thing you needed to fix about yourself. For example, you might have repressed anger that causes you to lash out at a partner, a loved one, or a friend. Returning to single life creates an opportunity to seek therapy or to join a support group. Let others help you dump your mental and emotional problems.

4. Are you better off alone at this point? This is a huge question for people who have never spent a significant amount of adulthood as a single person. Some people go from relationship to relationship without finding time for personal needs. You are the only one who knows if being single is the answer you need. Avoid the hassles of dating if the singles scene is not right for you. Return to the dating scene for the right reasons, not because you dread being alone.

Becoming an unwilling single places you in a new situation. While you don't want to hit the dating scene on the rebound, you do want to take this opportunity to make important decisions about your life. You can view life differently while you are free from serious emotional commitments. When you are ready, the singles circuit will be there for you.