How to Say No When It Counts

It's Christmas Eve, and you reluctantly answer your phone. Your brother asks you to watch his kids so that he and his wife can do some last minute shopping. There are really things you want to do with your own family. What do you do? Do you say yes or no? How do you stand up for yourself and what is important to you when it counts?

If you have trouble in this area, here is some advice you can use. Don't be afraid of letting other people down. You have to stand up for yourself and quit worrying about not meeting the expectations of others.

Here are some things that you can do to improve your ability to say no. If you consciously focus on improving your weakness when it comes to saying no, people will take advantage of you less often.

1. Say no the next time someone asks you to do something that inconveniences you. See how you feel afterward.
2. Before responding to requests that impose on your plans, take a deep breath and count to ten. Think about how important your plans are to you. If they aren't important, then say yes. If they are, just say no.
3. If a friend or family members love to take advantage of your generosity, the next time you are asked for a favor explain that you are a person with your own schedule and priorities. Explain that you don't appreciate being taken advantage of. From now on, you would appreciate not being asked for unreasonable favors, except in emergencies.

Once you have established clear boundaries for what you will and will not do for people, including those you love, you will hopefully see a development of greater respect. The people who were just using you will take the hint and move on. In the process, your friends and family might also appreciate your generosity even more.