badgerman
Falkirk, Central, Scotland UK
Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:55 PM CST
Whilst I agree with the vast majority of the sentiments expressed, not everyone can make the decision about no more contact. What about children? and pets? and maybe the idea that because two people have fallen out of love doesn't mean they don't want to be friends.
My wife and I separated in Oct '08 but are good friends who still talk, and long may that continue. Neither of us would wish to be excluded from the lives of the other, or our children for that matter.
Separating was difficult, and we were both hurt, after twenty years it's never going to be easy. But we owed it to each other to make the process as painless as possible.
I know two relationships are never going to be alike and I don't advocate either staying together or keeping in contact if there's any abusive behaviour, but it can be made as painless as possible if both parties accept the fact that things have come to an end.
xx
reb56
carthage, Missouri USA
Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:58 AM CST
true,my wife divorced in early 1980s,men we cant remember dates lol,as women say,she has little time left,due to a blood disorder,but i still wish her,the best,even tho,we never stayed,on good terms,i tried,but with no luck,but god bless her&pray for the best,for her,life is short.
phoenixrising1
south hazelton, British Columbia Canada
Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:25 AM CST
i had difficulty letting go till me good life long buddy told me to remember the bad times...it really helped..
lovingheart2
Madrid, Madrid, Madrid Spain
Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:25 AM CST
I can say, its really hard to start moving forward once the relationship has just ended...It is not easy at all to move your feet forward and start all over again most especially if you devote your time and effort to that special person in your life...
Yes, acceptance that the relationship is over now will help but still, it takes time to heal that broken pieces of your heart...
In my case, i tried to forget and move on even though its hard, really hard most especially that i gave my all devotion in the relationship but he just didnt appreciate it and never satisfied. And instead of helping to make the relationship strong, he is fooling around to others and then come back to me and say, im sorry and i still love you....I have given him lots of chances and i forgave him many many times but still he said sorry today but do it again the next day...I guess, i have already enough of his lies and cheatings....I just hope, someday, i can find that real person who will love me and give his heart fully to me and not divided to others...Its really heart breaking but there is no choice here as i cant rely on his word anymore...Lies and Cheating come together at the same time...
pinevalleyboy
Water Valley, Mississippi USA
Thu Jul 2, 2009 11:14 PM CST
I will agree that what is stated in this article is mostly true. There is the pain of letting go and the sorrow of not having that person's company to enjoy. Sometimes we forget the events the led up to the breakup. But believe it or not some things like destroying some items can be a relief valve for the pain.
With me, its like a resurrection, a rebirth, a phoenix, a "new" person rising up out of the ashes of despair and heartache ready to face the world once again. Yeah, I use fire as a way of burning my past so my present and future will not choked down.
The one thing most people don't realize is that there maybe some one else outside of the relationship who may be putting thoughts and ideas into the other person's mind. Usually this done from within the family; for instance say a mother who does not like the person because of where he or she is from.
The best thing to do is rise up and keep on living. Hearts really don't break they bend.
roxen77
Milne Bay Papua New Guinea
Mon Sep 7, 2009 9:38 PM CST
It took me 3 months to cry, 6 months to try to stop thinking about it for every 1 minutes,1 year to finally get on with life. The only obvious thing that helped me was talking to my friends, taking some time out, shared some tears and finally its stopped and I could get to meet other people but the memories linger on. But smile that at least you had a good time and life goes on.
davidben1
Muncie, Indiana USA
Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:09 PM CST
such swelling words of nothingness...
it would suite to cut thru all the bullshit, if one just asked themself one simple question, of themself...
do you love them, and want them to have what THEY want, MORE, than one want's what itself want's???
why should ONE want, be more important than another???
BUT, it has to, or all things become simply a return on investment, THE VERY ROOT of the ONLY bitter than can come from a relationship...
of course, men, are to put and make women and children FIRST, above their own want's, as women carry and bring all life, and children are unknowing yet...
without them, there is NOTHINGNESS, as no life would even be on the planet...
it serves any man his due justice, that only took and loved, to get back something for itself...
such is not love at all, and why the heartache from such cut's so deep, as such things no one really wants to see within itself, as surely it is seen, that all human's have the first natrual inclination, to defend itself, to prove how itself is always the most good posssible, which leaves many words telling of who and what self is left unheard, and cog in the wheel only spin's around itself, never hearing, or seeing, that the only care, the only love, is to wish to hear how self effect another, in all ways and cases, or the value of that one is compromised...
but these day's, courage, and valor, are things of the past, as the only courage, the only valor, is to love something more than for what and how it can make oneself feel good, and men are certainly duly indebted, to the universe and all other's, to learn such things first, so that a women actually has some knowing, some sight, some hearing, of something selfless, and what of children, whom have never seen what cared for them, beyond ther pride of ownership of the parent, if and when they do well...
what was once called and recognized as the only love at all...
just one cent