We can all recognize the signs instantly when we see them; those little tell-tale signals that tell us all is not well with our relationship. And no matter how long we choose to close our eyes to those little nagging doubts, eventually the day comes when we have to listen, take note, and act. The following are some of the more common signals that indicate your guy or gal isn’t ready for a committed relationship...
You’re Not an Integral Part of His Life
You may have met some of your partner’s friends, and perhaps even his parents, but he doesn’t seem to be able to make you an integral part of his life. While he’s content to spend evenings out with you, he often sees his best friends, work colleagues, and family members without you. You firmly belong in the “partner” compartment and rarely will you be taken along when he’s arranged to meet others. While this could be because your partner is one of those guys that compartmentalizes sections of his life, it could also be due to his not considering you an important enough feature of his life to warrant taking you along with him when he’s socializing with other people. You’re there for when he wants something a little different to his friends. A partner who’s in a relationship for the long term has no qualms about spending time with his friends as a couple. Granted, if it’s a “boys night out,” then he’s not going to want you there, but other than that, if he’s committed then he will be happy for the two of you to enjoy his friends’ company together -- as a couple.
She’s Never at Important Events in Your Life
Look back at photos taken at those important moments in your life, and in how many of them does your partner appear? A woman who never seems available for those big events in your life is probably trying to tell you something. She will be wary about your family and friends regarding the two of you as an item as she knows that she’s probably not going to be around for the long term. The fewer people she has to upset when the time comes, the easier it will be for her -- and her conscience. Someone who's committed to a relationship will want very much to be part of the big moments in your life.
He Doesn’t Refer To You in Future Plans
Listen to your partner talk about his future plans. If he uses the personal pronoun “I” instead of “we” then chances are that you won’t be a part of his life in a few years’ time. A further sign that your partner isn’t committed to your relationship is his evading questions about your future as a couple. If your partner is serious about your relationship, he won’t hesitate to include you in his plans, and will want to know what you think about his suggestions for your future life together.
She Acts Single When Out Without You
You will, of course, only know what your partner is up to when you’re not there by what she chooses to tell you. But if your partner freely admits that she is acting in a manner more appropriate for a single woman when out without you, then she's probably not serious about your relationship. While she may not be engaging in anything more harmful than flirting with and chatting to members of the opposite sex, by acting as a single woman she’s sending out messages to others that she may be available. Furthermore, if your partner rarely ever mentions you to others, then this is another sign that she wants to be seen as someone who may, at some stage in the future, be available for a relationship.
Someone who’s committed to a relationship will have little time for such behavior. Not only are they uninterested in pursuing anyone else, they're also not looking for future opportunities to change partners.
He Openly Flirts With Other People
A case of mild flirting is pretty harmless, but when your partner starts treating others better than he treats you, there’s something amiss. This could be your partner’s way of telling you that other women are important to him -- and always will be -- and not to believe that you are the only one in his life. If you feel that he reserves no special treatment for you, and that there’s no more connection between the two of you than there is between your man and your best friend, then it could be time to say goodbye.
A man who is committed to a relationship will treat his partner with respect and show her, as well as anyone else who's around at the time, that she's his number one.
You Never Feel Truly Connected
A couple who are truly connected see themselves as a unit. They know that they’re in it together for the long haul and that whatever life throws at them they will deal with together. If your partner isn’t committed to your relationship then you won’t have this feeling of connectivity, and you won’t feel that you can rely and depend on them in the way you could if he or she were serious about the two of you. This can leave you feeling as though you have to deal with everything in the relationship -- and out of it -- on your own, something that can leave you wondering what exactly you are getting from the partnership.
However difficult it is to say goodbye, sometimes it’s necessary. Unless you firmly believe that a relationship can be saved and put on the right tracks, leaving with what remains of your dignity and pride is usually the best course of action.