6 Do’s and Don’ts of 'Shacking Up' For Women

6 Dos and Donts of Shacking Up For Women

When you're considering moving in with your boyfriend, the excitement can really take over and make you forget about important things. While it might seem like moving in together is just a fun new step in your relationship, there are a lot of serious components to consider. Here are 6 do's and don'ts of 'shacking up' that will come in handy if you are thinking of moving in with your boyfriend.

Do: Keep your personal bank accounts

Though it might seem like it, just moving in together doesn't make you a fully committed couple. You're still getting to know each other and moving in together changes things a lot and gives you insights you didn't have before. Don't rush in to closing your bank accounts to get joint ones. As a woman, you need to protect yourself financially. Don't give anyone that you're just living with full access to your money. If you need to set up a new joint account that you can both put money into to pay rent and bills, do that. But don't feel that you need to combine all of your money just because you're shacking up.

Don't: Lend him money without a signed agreement

It doesn't sound very romantic, but it's important that you never lend money to your live-in boyfriend without a signed agreement about how and when the money will be paid back. If you're lucky, he won't ask you to lend him large amount of money to begin with, but you've probably seen enough episodes of Judge Judy to know it's completely possible. If he won't sign a payback agreement, don't lend him the money. Remember that it's your money and you owe him none of it if he isn't willing to play by your rules.

Do: Continue seeing your friends and family

It's not uncommon in a new relationship to get so caught up in your boyfriend that you see family and friends less. The same goes for when you move in together. You're so enamoured with your new living situation that all you want to do is hang out at home and do domestic things. While you might have the urge to stay home, it's important that you do enjoy your usual Wednesday night drinks with the girls. If your boyfriend gets used to you being home and no longer seeing your friends, you might find it hard to get back into that groove when you want to.

Don't: Play wife

This is also a common thing that happens in shack-up relationships. Don't try to impress your boyfriend so much that you take on all of the cooking and cleaning. Once you get into this habit, it's very difficult to get out of. Doing all of the chores is not a 'woman's job', whether a live-in girlfriend or a wife. Don't get your man used to not helping out or it will become impossible to get him to help out in the future. If you cook, your boyfriend should clean up. If he cooks, you should clean up. If he insists that you should do his laundry along with yours, decide that you'll both do your own laundry. You are not his mother or his maid, so don't take on either role.

Do: Make it clear what you want from the relationship

It's important that you move in together knowing what the other wants. If you move in knowing that he only ever wants to live together, you need to be okay with that or not move in at all. If you do want to get married one day, it's important that you let him know that. You can't move in with someone and just hope that he will propose to you one day. You have to make it very clear that's what your goal is.

Don't: Make big purchases together

Just like lending your boyfriend money, making a big purchase such as a car or a house, can lead to trouble. You don't want to think about it now, but what happens if you break up? Who gets the car, fridge, or flat-screen TV? Who would stay in the house and who would keep ownership of it? These are he kinds of things that you must think about when making big purchases. It's not fun to make things so serious, but when you don't have the benefit of a marriage, that's just how it goes.

When you decide to live with your boyfriend, it's important you take all the steps you can to protect yourself. While you might feel like you are in a completely committed relationship, it really isn't. People find it much easier to break up and leave when there is no marriage compared to when there is.

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