Whose love affair is it? The man’s or the woman’s? Does it make any difference? After all, in today’s society it really shouldn’t matter, should it? An affair is an affair, right? Public attitudes are changing, but have they changed completely? If one looks to the past, a huge change in attitudes can be seen.
Up until the 1930s or so, men had affairs all the time. Not every man, of course, but those so inclined were not reviled or shunned. They were just too “virile” for one woman. Women of that time period were seldom employed outside the home. Their dependence on their husband for support was pretty total. Divorces were extremely difficult to obtain, even if the religious establishment allowed it. Should these women object to their husband’s affairs they might be abandoned, or beaten (physically or verbally) into acceptance of the situation. Most women simply kept their mouths shut and put up with the infidelity. There were no good alternatives.
During this same time period leading up to the ‘30s (and into the ‘50s), women tended to have fewer affairs than men. If caught, these women were branded sluts and whores. They were abandoned by their men, their children frequently taken from them, and they were social outcasts. The male machismo wouldn’t tolerate such behavior from their “goods and chattel!” Pretty strong deterrents there!
It is now the 21st Century. Divorce comes easily. Women are more educated, self-supporting and independent. Not only are women having more affairs of their own, they are much less tolerant when their men have them. What’s good for the goose is finally good for the gander, too. Or so it seems. Women are less likely to be censored for having affairs these days, it’s true. They keep their children, their jobs, their pew in church.
There still seems to be a “Men will be Men” attitude, however. Statistically men still have more affairs than women, and are teased rather than censored for their behavior. They continue to see unfaithful women as sluts and whores, though secretly hoping they’ll get a piece of the action too. The big difference in the social setting is that women are no longer condemning other women for having affairs. The acknowledgment that women have true value as people and “sisters” has made abuse and marital unhappiness a valid reason for seeking comfort outside of the relationship. There will always be those who condemn either sex for having affairs. At least the playing field is a little more level now. Even though the male attitude still predominates, the difference between outlooks is shrinking all the time. We have truly come a long way.