Is Your Man Prone to Violence?

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence approximately 1.3 million women become victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Although one-third of female homicide victims in the United States are killed by an intimate partner, only approximately one-quarter of all physical assaults, one-fifth of all rapes, and one-half of all stalking incidents perpetuated against women by intimate partners are reported to the police.

The US Department of Justice defines domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Domestic violence does not discriminate against anyone based on race, age, religion, or gender. Domestic violence can affect persons of any economic background, education level, either sex, or marital status.

Recognizing the early warning signs and personality traits of a violent person can help you avoid becoming a domestic violence victim.

Physically Abusive Acts

Physical battery ranging from hitting and shoving to various degrees of deliberate bodily harm are obvious forms of physical abuse. There are also more subtle signs that usually occur prior to an escalated level of violent abuse.

You may have noticed that he has a low level of patience. If your partner often gets furious over a simple mistake, thrives on raising his voice to emphasize his opinion during discussions, or insists on starting and winning an argument it is likely that he will become physically violent.

During these angry episodes, the abuser may try to terrorize you by destroying items that you consider near and dear and of personal value. He may slam his fist against the wall or throw objects and break them in an effort to punish you.

When he is angry, the abusive partner may also lash out against the family pets. If he is causing injury to animals, he is very likely to inflict bodily harm on a human being.

He may also harm children or purposely cause them to cry. He has no interest in being sympathetic over this cruelty and will ignore any complaints of pain he has caused them.

Sexually Abusive Acts

Being forced or coerced to have sex without consent, sexual attacks on breasts or genitals, or being treated in a sexually demeaning manner constitutes sexual abuse.

The abusive partner may act out a disturbing sexual fantasy about you being powerless during sex. He may hold you down and rip your clothes during sex. He may also force you to have sex while you are asleep, while you are sick, or immediately following a physical assault.

Emotionally Abusive Acts

If your partner makes you feel guilty about talking to friends, tries to isolate you from your family, or controls your daily activities that do not involve him, it is a form of abuse. An abusive partner may also control your finances, your access to health care, or threaten physical harm to you, your children, or your pets.

An abusive partner is likely to exhibit signs of extreme jealousy over time you spend with those you are close to. He may accuse you of flirting or having an affair and it is a strong possibility that he is the one that is being unfaithful. As the behavior increases, the abuser may start checking up on you and making you account for every minute you are away from him.

Pay close attention to how your partner relates to the women in his life. If he blatantly disrespects his mother, he is likely to have a lack of respect for other females in his life.

If your partner shows a pattern of sudden mood or personality changes that include unprovoked explosions of anger or he becomes increasingly agitated after consuming drugs or alcohol, he is well on his way to becoming a very dangerous person. There is a strong link between violent behavior patterns and substance abuse.

If you or someone you know is a domestic violence victim, seek help before it is too late. There are national hotlines, shelters, and support groups that can be found online through all of the search engines or if you are in immediate danger, don't hesitate to call 911.