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Birds of a feather, man.

Most of us don't have "hundreds to choose from". You may like someone's profile on a singles site, and it may be full of deception (not current photo or not their photo, lies about their life and other details). But forget all that. Say their profile is 100 percent true, so you email them. They look at your profile and don't reply because they don't reciprocate the interest.

Say they do reciprocate the initial interest, and they are not too far away to easily meet. You meet them for coffee and find you have trouble keeping the coversation going. What they appeared to be online is not the way they appear in the flesh. The chemistry just isn't there for one or both persons.

There are "hundreds" of singles, yes. But finding one that you have chemistry and mutual connection with is the hard part. Even people who marry find it not working and eventually divorce.

I don't think there's anything "wrong with people". I do feel we are a bit picky if we have been in a few relationships and saw all the reasons we shouldn't be in them (they tried to control us, they were abusive, they cheated, etc.) You learn what you really need/and are looking for in another. That is why finding it is such a gift.

There are probably actually closer to "thousands" of people online dating between all the pay and free sites, some boast 20,000 or more members, so "hundreds" is a fair estimate I'd say. If you've done what you say then you also have done your part, but then I see no photo.

I do agree with some of what you say, but the bottom line is (like you said also) people are just too picky. Look beyond the pics, and profiles are only a general outline. Some people may be a great person, but just can't do a decent profile. Yes, we have all been burned in past relationships, and are more careful of course, but if we all let that stop us from getting into another one, we are all doomed to this online BS forever or until we just give up.

Thanks for your great opinions.....keep 'em coming, maybe people will start to see the light.....LOL

I don't have a photo up as I'm not looking at the current time, but I wasn't really talking about myself...just in general. I do agree that people are picky!

I do have a question, if you don't mind, as it is your blog...how can someone make themselves feel chemistry with another? It is either there or it isn't. In other words, if the problem is there is no spark, what can be done about this "pickiness"?

Interesting topic, though!

Why are we still alone, maybe you are correct in saying some are very picky, as far as answering emails, flowers I for one have always answered its common decency, and have formed great friendship's in not relationhips. I beleive honesty is the most important issue that one can confront, on these sites, yes there are dishonest people out there but one has to go by instinct and just see where it leads them. photo's can lie I always post the most recent available, but some do not. Distance sometimes can be a problem, but if two people actually feel that they do have something in common taking a chance would be worth it. I don't know what my future is going to be but I will tell you this that if I feel there is a connection than I will go for it, remember take a chance or you might just miss out on the greatest adventure of your life.

I'm not looking right now and yes it is because I am picky. I took what came along. It got real costly. Sooo, I try to stop doing what does not work. It is called learning thru experiences and acquiring wisdom.

When you interview someone for a job, you know broadly in the first 5 seconds of meeting them if they are suitable or not. If you meet a group of people in a bar, you know immediately if someone is attractive to you by the way they look, body language, something they say, the way they say it etc etc. These sites are both a blessing and a curse, its not a problem of being too picky, its a problem of not actually meeting enough people in real life. These are not dating sites, they are online chat sites. People who are serious about dating and relationships should do something real like speed dating or joining a site where dating was a requirement !

HI Everyone:I agree with most of the comments on this site. I have been on many sites and the potential for Friendship is always there but seldom happens in my experience. Chronic Loneliness can get to you at times, especially when we have tried so many times. Msybe some of us will never find new Friends or even Love. I at present dont plan on doing this much longer. Take care Everyone.

I am with you 100%! I send out flowers or short notes to men I think I would like and I get nothing..NOTHING! Everyone says they are looking for this and that and want to find love but no one puts anything out there to try..at least acknowledge the person..I mean why is anybody on here? Why are so many wasting their time..and mine really cause I put out the effort and usually get nothing. Oh, I get younger men that I don't want or strange ones that I don't need..but the men that I think might seem normal don't bother. I can't be that bad..I know I'm not. So what is the deal..get off this site if you aren't serious! Sure there are some whack jobs on here but I am sure there are some nice people on here who are truly looking. Ya can't win..if ya don't play!

Hi Calmheart.....I understand about the pic, and meant no offense. As for your question....I agree with you about the spark/chemistry thing. There are kind of like steps in this online dating ordeal: contact, email back and forth a few times, phone, meet. The problem, and the main reason for my blog was that too many are stopping at step one. They get an email/flower and never reply or they see an interesting profile/pic and never send an email/flower. Or, they are so picky that almost everyone is not what they are looking for......what happens with all of these examples? The process gets stopped before it can even start. They never get to know the person because they didn't reply and they never even find out if there is a spark because they never make it to that step of meeting. So, by being rude and not replying or by being too picky as I said everyone loses. So, I guess what I am saying to you women (and some men) is answer those damn emails/flowers if the person seems halfway decent. Make the first move and contact a guy that interests you, let him know. Give people a chance and you might be surprized......YES, there are still some honest, decent guys still out, and they are waiting for you to get to know them. Hope this ansers your question Calmheart.

BIG thumbs-up for SnowPatty! Why couldn't you live in FL? LOL

Northstar......keep the faith, don't give up.

I too believe it`s a little of everything you mention.

Not complaining, mind you.

I would venture that some people are Pig Ignorant, I live in Malta, In the middle of the Meditteranean Sea, I am in my 60s.even so I get contacts from females 30 years too young,Plus Six thousand kilometres away, I am polite enough to gently remind them , that we will not ever meet or suit each other,GOOD MANNERS ARE CHEAP, BAD MANNERS ARE VERY EXPENSIVE, as members of my own family have learned.to their cost. QED.