my little epiphany abotu me and who im looking for
i had the craziest epiphany about myself today well it started over the last couple of weeksim lonely and im a people person without people in my life i will die. period
i struggle with having friends cause when i find guys that are like minded i cant stant the guy stereotypes that they fufill and i cant change them i guess ive just learned so much about the bad things that guys do and i know not all guys are bad but they tend to think in ways that are specifically male and ive learned ftrom all my friends most of them are girls what to do, what not to do, what to say , what not to say as well as basic female respect, and i just tend to get along easier with girls than i do with guys
im very in touch with my emotions and i dont hide them in the least i cry when i feel the tears i know when others around me are sad or not in their normal spirits, because of all that ive been through in life, ive had to change , had to adapt, and had to matture in ways that a 13 year shouldnt have to....im a poet at heart and i love art in many different forms mostly sung, written, or drawn because those forms are majorly from the heart in my own personal experiences, and my heart is the nucleus of who i am without it i am just like anybody else just another guy but my heart is what makes me different, unique, weird, if you wish to say it ive been called worse and it doesnt matter to me anyways i am not ashamed of what ive done in life or what has been dont to me yeah alot of both sides of it has been wrong and not right but you cant control everything that happens to you....you can only react and deal with each situation as it comes to th ebest of yoru ability unselfishly, and without fear of getting hurt....pain is a part of life it hurts when we are born and the same when we die if we dont hurt it hurst someone else just the same.
i need friends in my life friends that i can hang with and be around that will accept me fro who i am and what/who i believ ein as well as not try and bring me down with drugs, or alcohol, and just be there for me through the fires of life encouraging me listening to me or just letting me listen to them... i need friends i can hugg, friends i can have fun with but not get into too much trouble with either
i need friends like this
they can be a bit older maybe even a bit younger i need friends that i can grow with and laugh with and at and vice versa, i need friends to help pray for me and walk alongside me through life, that arent afraid to be honest with me even if it hurts, that wont betray me, and if you do i'll forgive you just as fast....nobody's perfect and i wont expect anyone to be in my life
but most importantly i know im not ready for a commitment in any kind of relationship with a girl beyond just friends i cant handle the attractiosn and i tend to follow after my feelings in my flesh more thna my heart in these relationships and i end ip breaking both my own heart and theirs along the way, but i need a girl, a friend to hole, to lean on, to cry on her shoulder, to care for, to be cared by, to love and to be loved by as well,..i need some girl like this to be there for me and to allow me to be there for her to the best of both of our abilities without allowing either of us to become more important than the other and to tell each other the truth when we think the other one is doing something wrong or out of line , and be able to just be there....ya know...
this is my epiphany for the week i may get another one i may not please comment and tell me what you think, what you feel, and if you can be one of these friends for me, or even maybe this girl...friend for me and be able to wait til im able to have a committed relationship, i need someone patient, selfless, and honet
your brother from another mother
til death do us part
Bear
aka
Dylan deBruin