kizzy27
Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Posted:Fri Dec 26, 2008 3:20 AM CST
the doctor said ....
about three weeks ago I stared feelin really blue crying,shaky,nervous, I generally dont get the blues & thought perhaps I was pre menopausal or it had to do with the fact ide given up smoking anyway around that time i had some stuff going down so I didnt think much of it , then I had a panic attack , major ,numbing couldnt move or breathe I was overwelmed with fear ! Ive never suffered a mental illness but the doctor said depression , anxiety & panic disorder ...Now this I didnt believe Im so not depressed so I demanded more tests.I had blood & a scan ultrasound done this reavealed 5 multicystic nodules in my thyroid one is 5 cms which is roughly golfball size ...Also a lymph node in my neck is enlarged This apparently is releasing endorphines adrenaline etc into my endocrine system causing havoc !
I was squeezed in christmas eve for a biopsy .. now the wait.
I am scared
I dont scare easy
I am the mother of two great kids , who need me .
Its hard not to think about the what ifs
Trying to keep positive is difficult
I can see the one in my neck now so I know its growning it is also felt when i swallow.
It is realy hard as I havnt wanted to tell family being xmass didnt wanna bum them out plus i dont really know anything yet.
Anyone had a similar experiance & how do you cope !
Kizzy
hedistuff
sand fork, West Virginia USA
Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:03 AM CST
Kizzy, five years ago I had growth in my lung and spotted lymph nodes. My daughter was twelve. The doctors cut open my right lung and physically removed the intrusion successfully. The other problems have been dealt with using medication. Through regular cat scans, and other tests, no irregular growth has since been seen to occur. The experience definitely affected and altered me. Medicine has taken great leaps forward in recent years as to cancer treatment. I felt so bad and actually guilty at the thought of leaving my child. Turns out, she was a lot braver than I. Always stood by my side smiling, reassuring. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Apostophe
Boksburg, Johannesburg South Africa
Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:45 AM CST
Had to go for for biopsy not so long ago for a suspcious looking lump in my left breast - it had calcified - doctor was very worried - i also went to a good friend of mine - a Hindu mystic - healed himself after a serious Stroke. Wonderful loving man. Everything turned out fine. Believe in the healing power of your mind.
Best of best wishes Kizzy - i often peek into your bar.
Profile Deleted
Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:44 AM CST
it is a signal that you should get in touch with ur inner voice..
kizzy27
Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:52 PM CST
Thankyou for all your feedback I am hoping that all is good & the results are not serious It has made me think about things deeply what is really important how life can alter so dramatically , Ive always just floated thru happy untouched by things like this , so It feels sureal in a way!
I should know by tuesday..
Keep ya posted !
For now im of to the beach
Kizzy
Sparrow52
Colorado Springs, Colorado USA
Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:48 PM CST
Kizzy, God wants you to place all your confidence in Him. This calamity might be just the thing to direct you into His patiently waiting arms. He gave His Son, Jesus, as the only acceptable sacrifice for your sins. He requires of you only to turn to Him with regret for your sins and gratitude for His complete remedy for them in Jesus' death and resurrection. Please give your heart to Jesus, and invite Him to be your Lord and Savior. Then you'll know how trouble can be your best friend. This is a matter of eternal life and death, really. With My Prayers - Sparrow52
kizzy27
Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Sun Dec 28, 2008 2:08 AM CST
It is the unknown that is the scary thing Once i know I feel I will deal ok !
I have faith I will be ok It is just the unknown It has made me reflect deeply about all manner of things perhaps this is why this is happening ...
Personal reflection is an amazing thing ..
I do believe things happen for a reason so I am trying to determine whats behind this one as it unfolds
Kizzy
WaterDragpn
Toowoomba, Queensland Australia
Sun Dec 28, 2008 2:14 AM CST
Hey Kizzy, All the best for Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you.
zztopbanana
NSW, OZ & Puke Bay, Porirua, Wellington New Zealand
Sun Dec 28, 2008 7:10 AM CST
Personal reflection is indeed an amazing thing.
I've had a couple of close calls myself (well, more than a couple, actually) and I can tell you with cast iron certainty that you will emerge from this a stronger person.
If I may, I would like to echo WD's 'Good luck for Tuesday'.
JanSinger
Fall River, Massachusetts USA
Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:51 PM CST
My husband had similar problems...won't go into it. I will keep you in my thoughts! Hope you get only good news!
Jan
kizzy27
Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:37 PM CST
Thankyou all , funny how sharing something makes it somehow less of a burden even though you are all virtual strangers Its makes me feel humanity is indeed alive & well sometimes ive doubted that is the case especially of late .
Tomorrow ill know well unless there late ,,,someone forgets to fax the results , lost specimen at the christmas eve bash...the lab technition thought my sample was sushi in his half pissed state ,,,or any other senario i can think off ...
Ill post the results whateva they are , good bad or even ugly .
Heres to good health
Kizzy
babymilo
Wollongong, New South Wales Australia
Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:31 AM CST
Kizzy,
Being new to this site, I'm totally moved by the concern and good wishes expressed by others. The one thing your experience reinforces for me that you should always demand to get a second opinion. The Doctors do not always get it right. There was clearly something inside you telling you that their initial diagnosis was not on the mark. You listened well to your inner voice.
My ex has had to wait days for biopsy results and it can be very stressful for everyone.
Good luck tomorrow.
babymilo
kizzy27
Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:29 PM CST
Thanks BMilo & yes your right I do know i am not prone to depression I am just not wired that way Ive had bad shit befall me & always bounced up so it was definatley out of character!
The doctors office called yesterday afternoon they have made an 1130 am appointment today to discuss the biopsy results sooo Its all happenin I know i got heaps of good vibes coming my way & you guys who dont even know me have made me feel better just to be able to reach out & say what on my mind . It sometimes is so hard to discuss things like this with people close , you know the brave face etc sooo whateva happens ill let you know.
Mwa
Kizzy
kizzy27
Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:02 PM CST
hedistuff
sand fork, West Virginia USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:40 PM CST
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!