Posted:Fri Dec 26, 2008 3:20 AM CST
the doctor said ....
about three weeks ago I stared feelin really blue crying,shaky,nervous, I generally dont get the blues & thought perhaps I was pre menopausal or it had to do with the fact ide given up smoking anyway around that time i had some stuff going down so I didnt think much of it , then I had a panic attack , major ,numbing couldnt move or breathe I was overwelmed with fear ! Ive never suffered a mental illness but the doctor said depression , anxiety & panic disorder ...Now this I didnt believe Im so not depressed so I demanded more tests.I had blood & a scan ultrasound done this reavealed 5 multicystic nodules in my thyroid one is 5 cms which is roughly golfball size ...Also a lymph node in my neck is enlarged This apparently is releasing endorphines adrenaline etc into my endocrine system causing havoc !
I was squeezed in christmas eve for a biopsy .. now the wait.
I am scared
I dont scare easy
I am the mother of two great kids , who need me .
Its hard not to think about the what ifs
Trying to keep positive is difficult
I can see the one in my neck now so I know its growning it is also felt when i swallow.
It is realy hard as I havnt wanted to tell family being xmass didnt wanna bum them out plus i dont really know anything yet.
Anyone had a similar experiance & how do you cope !
Kizzy
