4MaryB Blog Post: Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:49 AM CST

4MaryB NJ, New Jersey USA
Posted:Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:49 AM CST

I’d “love” to read your definitions of love


Ok so I found out that love was my primary requirement in a relationship. But just what is love anyway? It is a slippery little sucker really. I looked up various definitions and they vary quite a lot. So I decided to define for myself what I consider love to be. After all, that is the only definition that really matters to me. So how did I define love? I spent a long time on this before refining it down to the following characteristics. This doesn’t include that mysterious, indefinable something that love really is - but I know that when I feel it. I was more inclined to come up with almost a list of behaviors that I can measure future experiences against:

* Connection - soul, mind, heart, body, interdependence
* Understanding - empathy, compassion
* Acceptance - non judgmental, freedom to be self
* Wanting what is best for the other

There are other things I want in a relationship such as commitment, intimacy and passion, but to me they are separate entities and not part of love itself. You can have all without love and you can love without any.

I believe I have experienced giving love in the above way but haven’t as yet received it. In a relationship context it has to be two way for me - it isn’t enough for one to love in the above manner and the other not. If both love as above, then both will get their needs respected and met where possible. I stress that this applies to my life only, I wouldn’t want to be seen to be giving a definitive account. After all everyone is different, each couple is different. You may read the above definition and go, nup, not what I have or want at all. But, for now, this is what I am on the lookout for.

I’d “love” to read your definitions of love. How does love manifest in your life? What are the qualities and characteristics you have or want?






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Comments

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hedistuff sand fork, West Virginia USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:53 AM CST
I have found that when one is in love with another, they find themselves also loving all others. there is only joy for all people and things. one wonders why it couldn't have always been this way. hard to put into words exactly what "love" is. you only know it when you feel it.
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hedistuff sand fork, West Virginia USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:27 PM CST
Oh, I forgot to mention the vibration. There is a humming vibration that fills your entire body and you carry this, no, it carries you, wherever you may tread, with vibrant joy to your next stop. and then your next stop. ad nauseum. one is floating, and you like the feeling. a lot.
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desertrose2 Paraparaumu, Wellington New Zealand
Thu Jan 1, 2009 6:02 AM CST


We know a person loves us when that person consciously and consistently behaves in ways that mostly makes us feel good about ourselves e.g. they are interested in us, care for us, consider our thoughts and feelings, try to protect us, encourage us, spend money on us, listen to us and/or whatever else makes a specific person feel great.

If both partners meet the other partner's need to feel good about themselves - then I believe the relationship is very likely to succeed. heart wings

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