Posted:Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:20 PM CST
I'm so sorry Liz
I hurt you.
Without thought. Without realization.
Yet, the pain was no less severe.
Out of sight, out of mind, I never saw your tears.
I never once heard your plaintive cries.
Never witnessed the sadness in your eyes.
I was busy.
I was gone.
I was occupied.
I was with another.
I was an idiot.
I was young. I was carefree. I was cavalier.
I was handsome. I was strong.
All these many years have passed.
I've now spent a lot of time aware that I was wrong.
I've lived with this awful regret for over thirty six years.
Over and over, your face appears in my heart.
Your eyes, your smile, haunt me, haunt me.
The memory of your total devotion to me brings me terrible guilt.
And loss.
It was right there.
Right before me. I had it in my arms.
All the love that any man could ever want or dream of.
Was mine.
So, what did I do?
I squandered it, wasted it, killed it. I turned my back on it.
Through the passage of time, I've found that this act wasted me.
Killed me.
I should have taken the dagger that I pierced your sweet love with, and instead driven it deep into my own heart, ending my life.
At least I may have been happy.