Posted:Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:27 AM CST
Weekend.
I'm looking forward to seeing Reed. It'll be our seventh date tomorrow. We decided to watch the game and have snacks.
The last time I was with someone was Nov 2. and that date may not be correct - it could be Oct just before Halloween. I remember dissolving my relationship with Roman because he wasn't serious about me after all. After 6 mos you can tell where a relationship is headed. In my case I knew after 5 1/2 mos. The answer was: nowhere. So I told him I couldn't have things the way they were and I didn't contact him anymore.
Some guys would read my profile and tell me I was too picky. My friends would tell me I was to picky. But, no one ever asked me why I became this way. It wasn't something I've always been. It was something I did over night. But, apparently, everyone felt that I just needed to bend and give someone (anyone) and everyone a chance. And, that I didn't want to do anymore.
Would you force your children to eat meat if they insisted on being vegan?
I wanted things clearer for myself. I sat down and wrote everything I wanted about "him". I knew I would bend a little but, not much and I composed my list. Height, looks, etc. Shallow? Perhaps. But, anyone that says they're not is a liar!
As for me, I no longer wanted to accept just anyone that entered my life. No more drug users, no more indecisive men and no more anger, bad communicators, etc. I opened my eyes and placed my list on my profile and waited.
One by one - they come toward me. My criteria made things so much clearer and easier. I'd hear them out, read their profiles. One thing off and there would be a reason to end conversation. No settling. Two full months pass; just talking to the same type of men who "didn't know what he wanted" or just wanted to "see where things went". Answers much TOO vague for me. People know. Who walks through life not knowing what they want or who would make them happy? You either shyt or get off the pot, that's what I was told and that is what I live by. Know who you are and what you want from yourself and life..and go get it.
He came into my life when I wanted to turn away from dating. I became overly focused on work and school. I took a night off and went over to a friends house. In my sadness, I stated my thoughts on my never getting married, not because I didn't want to - but, because no one I wanted was behaving as though marriage would even be consideration. My friends told me to change my pattern of thinking and began paraphrasing from the book, The Secret. I read it already. That evening I did change my thoughts. I drove home thinking and saying so passionately, that I was going to find my dream man and he will have everything I want from my list and everything I needed from a man and he will be my future husband. 8 mins home, 8 mins of repeating.
A week after that thought and affirmation, Reed contacted me and we met on the 13th of Jan. We've continually remained in contact and our time spent together feels genuine and not a major conquest to get into my pants. And, even if we heavily petted - the desire to hold off is amazingly strong. The strange thing is the more I get to know him, the more he is exactly like that of my list. He falls into every single desire and more; exceeding my expectations so far. I'm enjoying the details. He's a well blended man. Masculine, yet just enough femininity to know he's comfortable with himself. The candles all over his home - drive me crazy about him!
I'm still sitting back and watching it all transpire. My own little love movie, happening right in front of me. This SuperBowl Sunday is going to be another test for me - but, I know I want to fail. Date 7 will be my lucky number.
But, that's another blog maybe for Monday.
I'm very happy now knowing that Reed is an amazing person in my life. I'm enthusiastic that he responded he was looking for marriage too but, I'm especially excited that we're equally yoked.