Posted:Sat Mar 7, 2009 7:48 AM CST
This weak in Adelaide. Vol 1 Num 6
The Weak that was:
You're still reading this crap? What's wrong with you people? Are you mad? Oh. You're plotting revenge? You'll never take me alive I tell you.
SATURDAY 7th March: I must have really strained my muscles yesterday. Had a really bad night. Powering up those hills perhaps? My thigh muscles were quite painful. Obviously I don't know the trick yet. Other than getting back on the bike and riding some more. They don't hurt when they're in motion.
Which is what the plan for today was. I rode over to "Aunty Eva's" Place at plympton to install the computer I built for her last week. She's not actually my Aunty but I've always called her Aunty Eva because that's what Doktor Badger calls her. She's a sweet little 75 year old with a brain the size of a planet. And she's got more get-up-and-go than most 20 year olds I know. I'd never done this ride before and don't know that part of town very well so it was one big adventure.
Last night I captured from google maps and then marked out the route and put the graphic on my cell phone. I checked with google earth to see if I could spot all the short cuts and places where a bike can get through but cars can't. Almost as good as having GPS on the bike.
In the end it was easy and I found my way through without any trouble. Managing to avoid most of the traffic where possible. All the bike track crossings over there seem to have their own traffic lights with little bicycle symbols on them. Hadn't seen them before. They even give you your own buttons if you're on a bike. I don't know what the difference is. Perhaps the pedestrian ones stay green longer?
I got Aunty Eva's computer running and on-line. Easier than I thought since I hadn't done a dial-up for years. I had some tonic water and then fueled up on a banana and was back on the road.
I was at the intersection of cross roads and Anzac highway when some woman in a car behind me laid on the horn. I pulled up and looked over my shoulder like "What?!" But it wasn't me she was looking at. It was the woman in a car next to her. As inconsiderate as it was to shove her horn up my ass at least it wasn't me she was pissed at.
Turns out there was some kind of girl on girl road rage happening. When the lights changed they tore off down the road like a scene out of death race 2000. Blasting their horns and trying to run each other off the road. In the distance I could see other cars slowing down and giving these two girl-hoons a wide birth. I don't know where they went at the end of Stonehouse drive but I didn't see any smouldering remains. Perhaps they killed each other further down Morphett road. It was lots of fun though. Congratulations girls for reaching in and finding your inner male. Hope you enjoy the testosterone.
After a blast along Taplies hill road with a tail wind and pretending I'm a real cyclist, I finally reached the safety of my own driveway. Only to be greeted by MOTHRA. Who had obviously descended from the attic and was gumming tastefully upon the soft fleshy parts of what I think was once our next door neighbour. It grunted and squeezed the portion to it's evil breast. Mocking fear that I might be foolish enough to try to take it. I grunted the universal grunt of someone who couldn't give a rat's. I didn't like Mister Turnbull anyway.
I'm confused however. When I went to the fruit and veg shop today, to buy a carrot and a banana for bike fuel, The older girl asked me if I had lunch yet. It didn't dawn on me the implications at the time but now I'm really confused. Was she trying to ask me out? I mean I'd be honored because she is really very nice but does she realize how old I am? Maybe I'm now reading too much into it?
I would certainly like to get to know her better. Maybe even go out. Maybe she runs a secret Chinese bondage den out the back and she's grooming me to be her next gimp? Good thing I'm not allergic to leather.