"proclaimed" independent women
In my opinion, when a woman “proclaims” she is an independent woman, red flags go off within me. I don’t know. Maybe this is coming from the ignorant part of me. ? Therefore, I am just curious as to what it means to be an independent woman.When a person proclaims to be somebody or something, in essence, they are making it part of their identity. For example, I imagine a woman who proclaims she is independent as not “needing” anyone to live.
Here is why the red flags go off when I hear that a women describes herself as independent. I am a man looking for a long-term relationship. I would like to be with a woman who needs me as much as I need her. Afterall, we are in a relationship. I think interdependent relationships are healthy; whereas, co-dependent relationships are not so healthy. In either case, there is some level of dependency within the relationship. Does a proclaimed independent woman see it like that? I do not know.
Take for example, if there was an argument in our relationship. Arguments happen in all relationships. Is an independent woman going to look at the situation and say, I do not need this cr*P…I am out of here? I do not know. What about if children are brought into the relationship? Is the independent woman going to think one day I do not need my husband anymore and just leave, therefore removing the father from the children’s typical family life? Most of the times, here in the States, women get custody of the children.
I do not know exactly what a proclaimed independent woman means. Are you moderately independent or are you extremely independent? I have nothing against any people and am all for equality for everyone. Does equality and independence mean the same thing to a proclaimed independent woman?
Maybe I am missing something because I believe in treating people equally; or, maybe I am just ignorant. In either case, I look forward to hearing what others think about this. ?
I will be on and off the computer and may not be able to respond to all responses right away but I promise I will respond to everyone.
I am sure there are men who claim they are independent also and I would say the same thing about them. However, I have not read too many men's profiles so....I don't know. :)
Comments (88)
This description of being independent is not meant to be used as a woman who has no feelings or cannot form attachments...it just means they can take care of themselves financially...at least that is what it means to me...men these days do not want to look after women either...financially I mean...it should be equal...I agree with you!!
If I wanted someone else to make me happy, blamed for my unhappiness, sought to fulfill my emotional needs through someone it is a unhealthy relationship..
So financially and emotionally independent women are a better choice. But you better ask them what they mean first.
I agree!!
To me, Independent means we are not as weak as what mans imagine... yes independent means we are able to take care of ourselves, and most of the case its talking abt financial. But when children involve, you may not say independent, bcos children is PARENT responsible not only mother or only father.
I think john thinks that women will be more prone to leave but if children are involved...children come first...
John, when you meet woman who proclaimed that she is independent, means not in all aspects, children should be out of the case. I just think still men and women are needed each other in society and life as human being... no body can be pure independent...
There is a quote from Stephen R. Covey which says
"I need you therefore I love you
OR, I love you therefore I need you.
This man is one of the top men in Human Relationships. He shared this to help us to know if we really love someone. It ties in with what has been said.
Sometimes people marry someone to fulfill themselves because they NEED someone to care for them feeling then that they love that person. They are marrying to gain security from someone. Their NEED to have their needs met precedes love.
The other person LOVES someone, he/she does not picture themselves without this person for their heart tells them this person is right for them.... Their desire to be with that person is overwhelmingly strong and filled with passion. Their NEEd of this person comes because of LOVE...BUT love came first.
Someone who has been independent in their living financially and emotionally does not need someone to make them happy BUT when their heart LOVES someone then they NEED that person to feel complete... this person has the need but preceded by love.
Hence you are marrying for love. Yes we want to feel needed.. But we don't want someone who will drain us of all emotion because they are totally needy...not able to give back.
Hope this makes sense to you ... It did to me.
Good luck Johny in the love/need area
Chicken!............
Where is john?...
I agree with you today!
That is the way i see it..........
You need to be the OP to this blog...hey angel...hope things are good!!
You wrote posted a blog about independent women, and I posted one about err, what the heck was mine about? Oh yeah, now I remember. I posted one about single people.. and what people do or dont do for love.
Anyways, interesting blog.
Have a great night and day, my friend.
Whatever happened to Johny???
Maybe he found that woman who NEEDED him...
Is wallops right?...or are you reading our comments and saving your input for later?...
OMG! Hehe.....
Had to ask!!
My brother called just as I posted it....we went out for some food.
I see Robert has a blog going too...lol. I am going to put more priority this his blog....his are more fun. :)
However, shortly I will give some meaningful responses to each and everyone of your responses.
Again, thank you so much. I am beginning to understand better.
That NEEDY woman got him and he is crying out for
'Give me an independent one PLEASE!!!!
You can't post on two blogs?
You need a better PC, Laptop or a Mobile web.OMG Yawl!...
He haven't answered nobody question.....
I define my independency based on my minimum standard of self support and of shares. Sure I want to get and share more and better. That's why I need others.. but I will never let others think that my life will be in hell without them.
That is somewhat what I suspected. I just was not sure how independent they considered themselves. Thank you for the furthering of my understanding. :)
Aaaww.. thank you.
Your welcome...women are often judged by others...so it is good to state your independence...not a gold digger...or a clingy or needy individual...not to be mistaken by someone who will drop you like it's hot when things get a bit difficult...
Thanks for the addition with emotional independence.
So we have financial and emotional....lets see if we can add to that. :)
I think I got everything you said there:
-prepare for sole provider
-recognized for intelligence
-protected
I agree Ther....women are complex creatures.
Thanks so much for your addition.
Hmmm, that is one aspect I did not realize....that men imagine women as weak.
So, independence to you is being able to take care of yourself. Perhaps...showing a man you are not as weak as he may think you are?
Thank you very much for your perspective.