Posted:Sun Apr 19, 2009 1:35 AM CST
Payed Friendships and Love
It is amazing how over the years when I believed I was helping my friends and a certain love one financially I was really paying for their friendship and love. The thing is they kept pretending that they cared and now they only appear when money is the topic. I've always been there for them but when I ask them a favor they want to make me pay for whatever the favor is that they will do to me.
On the love topic. It saddens me how unfair life can sometimes be. I was in a relationship, I helped the guy in every possible way I could. He cannot deny the fact that I was always there. This guy, said he loved me but later on said that he was in a relationship with me because he felt pity. After all the months spent on him, months I lost and cannot get back, thinking of living together, children...to my surprise he ended having a child with another woman, he even visited her and all that time I didn't know. And here I was helping him with his struggle. He used me to get a better life for that other woman.
Well now everything is over and done. I am happy! But at the same time I feel like is unfair. He's already with somebody else, extremely happy. As if nothing mattered. I was helping him and he said that I was just a mistake he made.
I don't want him to be miserable but it is as if what he did was just normal. It hurt me. I did hurt myself too. Now I am so much better but in the back of my mind I feel like there wasn't justice for what he did.
Sometimes I really believe that is better to be alone. I am just tired. Trying to keep these people away from me. The more I gave the more they want.