Posted:Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:51 PM CST
Moths are fuckerfaces
Moths are fuckerfaces and I am disgruntled but Optimistic.
Current mood: adventurous
So this is me, not sleeping......'Sup Boogers!
There is a prehistoric moth in my room, this freak definitely cruised with the old Fuckerdactyls back in the day. They aren't even supposed to be around this time of year?!
I am sure of it, he's feckin Massive!!! His wings are like that of an eagle and he's speckled brown. Not to mention that he has a big Barry White head on him. All I am short of is 'You're the first, the last my everaaaythang ' and I would burst into fits of banshee like hysterics.
Where is he you ask? Hiding, behind the hardrive of this very P.C and in all my dealings with the prehistoric crooning moths of this variety, I shall leave him be, til daylight......Then he will meet the irrepressible force that is.......What I like to call, my smooshing flip flop. It is my chosen weapon in battling all things winged, with eight legs, or the scariest of all, things with no legs.
Also, I am in a crappy mood. I feel that living vicariously online is only providing me with a mediocre outlet. Those you come to know and particularly like often do not meet the purely ridiculous criteria of what an online friend should be, after all they are not real friends.
IRL (thats in real life, people who have normal lives rarely know this), I have one friend, her name's Rita. She is super fantastic!! Always ensures I'm good and drunk when I am out with her. Throws me at the cute nice boys and peels from the vacant tequila fuelled vessel that is me on a Friday Night, the not so nice boys.
If I call her, she will pick up. If I need her, (Winter Spring Summer or Faaaalll all you gotta do is caaalll, thats playing in my head with a montage of made up pictures of her and I embracing with puppies in Autumn) she'll be there.
This is how we do..... She loves me flaws and all, knows my limits, knows what to do to make me laugh and has unlimited information that could make me cry.........But she'd never break the lock on this devastating, fully stocked arsenal. Why?
Because... (yes Mrs O Brien, from Primary School I am starting a sentence with because, track me down, show me your crinkly cleavage.....do your worst).....
At the end of the day, we have to face each other, be there for each other and although I love to nudge people on MSN, buy people as pets on Myspace and throw a few sheep at my buds on Facebook......
Sometimes, no matter what the type of relationship...... The flesh, the touch, the physical being in real life.......Well it's the friggin shit! Nothing will ever beat it.
The look, to not look at the person who's just arrived at the bar, a poke in the belly when we are teasing each other about who snogged insertrandomguysnamhere first.....a hug when I am having an unsettling day, like today........
It's so easy to say things via an internet medium, after all you can be anything you like. Tonight Matthew, I am going to be.......................................................
I am going to be me.
First time in my life, I mean exactly what I say. Don't let this abundant supply of anonymity go to your head. Say what you mean and mean what you say. So to those who really inspired me to write this blog......
I hope you choke on your own bullshit.
And to those who I really hold in high regard, thanks for being there and being not necessarily who you are, but who I needed you to be.
I maintain that I am honest.....never once did I say I wasn't selfish.
My blogging Veterans, I bid you adieu........I must mount my horse and ride into battle with my trusty smooshing flip flop in hand......
The moth may have won the battle that was keeping me awake all night, but I shall surely win the war.
Peace.
x