brunetteteen18 Blog Post: Mon May 11, 2009 4:35 PM CST

brunetteteen18 Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, England UK
Posted:Mon May 11, 2009 4:35 PM CST

I Dont Think He Realises.

So now im just so confused and depressed i find it hard to sleep at night.

Its driving me absolutely apesh*t. So from April 30th's blog i told you how much i miss my ex boyfriend, and i still miss him, so today we went for a drive in his sports car and i really had fun because we watched tv and chilled out hugged and kissed like nothing went on, but its like he doesn't realise how much i miss him. I know he says he misses me but im so not sure he means it or not.

So yesterday i got news that he was moving half an hour away to be closer to University, and yeah i was gutted and still am a bit but i truely think theres no hope for us getting back together as i text him the day after April 30th and told him how i felt and if he still felt the same and wanted to try again?, and he text me back saying that i should think about it more and that he needs time to think too, so i think i take it as ive hurt him too much and he doesn't trust me or somethin' and its driving me crazy how i feel about him...Its like i want him back but i know he probably doesn't want me after i dumped him for an emo guy who messed with my mind and shit!, and yeah i feel the biggest dickhead ever :(, some nights i just lay there and think how many months we could of been together or how much of a fool i was and i just lie there and honest to god i cry about it.

It just feels like theres no end to my problems, i just wish i hadn't of dumped him and stuff and maybe we would of been together still now and he wouldn't be moving in August i bet he's only moving just to get away from me, which honestly i cant fault him for as id do the same.

Today in the car he was talking about how much he wanted some naive student and stuff and yeah it did make me cry a little but i didn't want to cry in front of him, i dunno if its me being over sensitive or what?, its just when he talks about other girls it makes me feel so small and obsolete and angry i just dont know where to turn or what to do, its honestly driving me crazy.

I know, people have told me to get out there and have fun and stop moaning about being single, but its so hard when all your friends seem to have this whole stepford wife relationship thing going on and i just cant help but envy them and wish i was them partly :(

So, again im so sorry about the essay but it feels good to get things as complex as this off my chest so im not driving my friends crazy lol laugh

Much Love

- Brunetteteen18 teddybear

373 Views | 3 Comments



Comments

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DBOWMAN brighton, East Sussex, England UK
Mon May 11, 2009 11:10 PM CST
You are doing the best thing in getting how you feel off your chest. Yes it's easier said than done to get out there and have fun but eventually the hurt will go away. I split from my now ex-boyfriend twice and got back together twice. We split for the final time on Sunday just gone cos he failed to turn up for a date, he never answered his phone and he failed to answer any texts. I will never go back to him now and last night I changed my profile back to what it was before I met him. The point I'm trying to make is that eventually there has to be a cut off point where the split is for good. It hurts for the person on the receiving end but at the end of the day the pain will go away and you can start living again. At least this way you are not going round in circles, if this is for good. You are both young and there will be plenty of others in your life until you meet the guy who will touch your heart and you his. If he's talking about other girls he's obviously not ready to settle into one relationship yet and it's better to find this out now than later. Take your time grieve over this and then when you feel ready get out there and show them what you've got girl. You are young and pretty there are plenty of decent guys who would love to know you.
vanitystorm roxboro, North Carolina USA
Tue May 12, 2009 11:32 AM CST
we all make mistakes. i don't know the whole details of your situation, but if you have apoligized to your boyfriend and if you are building back his trust in you, he should not make little heart-stabbing comments to keep pushing the knife deeper. when you've done all u can do sometimes you have to back off a little. i am not saying go out with guys to fill that painful spot in your life. give him a little time. if he still continues to talk about other girls and hurt you then you gotta cut it off. you are trying to overcompensate for going out w/the other guy. trust me, his hurtful comments have made you both even. it's time he starts putting the past behind him. remain true to him, but done nag or bug him. let him call u. then see how it goes. that's only my opinion. hang in there girl! i promise it will all work out!
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gwright025 Agoura Hills, California USA
Tue May 12, 2009 2:18 PM CST
dont dwell on it, if he doest want you back he doesnt deserve you...guys come and go like seasons.

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