THE RULES... ACCORDING TO MEN

Bloggers..This came in email....guys go ahead, read and laugh
Got anything to add?

Subject: The Man Rules


A guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear the rules '
From the female side


Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.



1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way


1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible,
Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT n eed directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
football, cricket, baseball or motor sports.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape !


1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.laugh


Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh. rolling on the floor laughing:
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Comments (8)

There are No rules between Me Myself And I
And We All Get Along Fine....................detective
Fifth Rule #1 roll eyes

A guy & his wife are driving along...
Wife - "Do you want to stop & get some ice cream?"
Guy - "No."
Wife starts sobbing.
Guy - "What's the matter with you?"
Wife - "You won't take me to get ice cream!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife was a cross of New York Italian & Milwaukee Polish. wow
I never, NEVER had this kind of problem...
I always knew exactly what was on her mind!
(Also the rest of her family...both sides. It was sorta like living in the movie "Moonstruck"...only more profane.) laugh

cowboy
These always make me laugh laugh
If you want a compliment.... ask for one, dont get angry or upset if none are forthcoming.

We DO love you, but, we dont need to tell you every day.

Yes!... You're bum looks big in that!

If we tell you, you look lovely... me mean it, so dont think we are wanting something in return.

No, we dont always tell you something just because we think you want to hear it.
Avias
__________laugh
Hey Bloggers! Glad you are enjoying the blog and the ideas for rules that do exist with SOME guys...Most of these crack me up..Like this one...."Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we"! laugh ..Oops, Not a good way to prove a point!.. .. Christopher Columbus was so lost that he believed to his dying day that he had landed in Asia!.... : doh grin
Everybody... thanksfor your comments! gotta go
My friend Avias,

I loved this blog. Funny and truthful in many ways, or most ways. laugh

Enjoy your day and night. hug
Rob..You toothumbs up grin
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Meet the Author of this Blog
avias

avias

Southeast, Missouri, USA

Youthful,fun, in good health, non-smoker. Enjoys nature, being outdoors, travel, gardening, music, art, reading and learning. Love a good laugh but not into "put downs"! Positive outlook on life,enjoys intellectual people with sharing of ideas. [read more]

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created Oct 2015
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