Posted:Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:44 AM CST
Jabba
You sit by the fire, eyes shining with drink.
It took all I had not to push you in.
You started the noise, the one that causes my ears to bleed.
The rising buzz whine, your guilt ridden thoughts, your pity-me pleas.
I clench my hands, make little fists, as I fight the urge to snap.
You loved her you cry out. you love her, you love me, you love.
Gods above, a word used too many times, never any meaning.
I turn my gaze aways from your reddining eyes, and watch the flames flicker.
Thinking how I would like to watch those bright yellow-orange flames eat at you, instead of the wood you threw in.
Some days, I cannot believe, that one man could make me cringe with just his voice.
But I know, as I sit here, watching the fire, shooting glances at you, I know, your voice makes me cringe, its really there, its real, I would rather shoot you.
There it is again, a rising pitch, I feel the blood ready to trickle down, the warmth in my head.
Your past, what it means, what you did, what you should have done.
I make my hands into fists, controlling my rising temper. I try to listen, even as my ears bleed.
I smile, make nice, yet, you take advantage of that, to use me, as your dump, where you chuck all your shit.
You smile at me, a shit eating grin, and I think, eat shit, just do it, leave me out of it.
You keep talking, and it takes all I have, not to make you burn, you keep talking, the same story, over and over again, changing, re-wording, and I can't, I cannot..
EAT SH*T, JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP! I scream.
You look at me, shocked.
I smile, the one that you call that "oh dear, she's crazy again" look, my face twitching slighty.
You chuckle nervously, and the noise starts again.
I return to watching the flames, and you return to making my head hurt, my ears bleed.
You are sitting by the fire, eyes shining with drink.
And it took all I had, not to push you in.