Posted:Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:15 PM CST
He is now with Elvis Presley
Monday, June 29, 2009
He is now with Elvis Presley
Michael Jackson, who was a child Rock music singing star with his brothers and then rose to be an international vocalist in the 1980s, has died at age 50. Here is the only correct news report of what happened after Michael passed on to the next life.
Michael---Wow, I am finally dead and I know the best is yet to come. Who are those people approaching me all aglow in bright light?
Ed McMahon---How are you old buddy? I beat you here and am already looking for a comedy gig. After 86 years on Earth, I am finally in Heaven and 100 percent out of debt.
Farrah Farcett--Both of you guys went fast and did not suffer for 2 years like I did. I notice that all of us now look like we did when we were age 25.
Michael---I did not like how I appeared physically at 25 so I hope that I can get plastic surgery in Paradise.
Ed McMahon---Things could be much worse for you, like having all of your debt come to Heaven. Cheer up!
Farrah Fawcett---Look at it this way, all of us will be worth more money in death, especially you Michael. All of our families and friends will benefit.
Ed McMahon---But, Farrah, that did not really happen when my long-time boss Johnnie Carson passed away.
Johnnie Carson---Listen Ed, I made more money on Earth than all 3 of you put together. You fools!
Michael---Now I know why I hardly ever appeared on your Tonight Show, Johnnie. You are a mean person.
Elvis Presley---You think Johnnie is bad, Michael, but wait until you talk with me, the King of Rock and Roll.
Michael---Oh man, it is really you. Can you sing Jailhouse Rock? Boy, you have been in Heaven a long time.
Elvis---Yeah, I bugged out at age 42 in 1977, when all of you were very famous. You might say I was bored.
Michael---How could you be that way when you were on high quality prescription drugs?
Elvis---Now listen, baby, the King never did street drugs and I was only obeying doctor's orders. But, what the heck, both of us died young with heart attacks.
Michael---Ain't that the truth. I only was on Earth for just 50 short years but man I had fun.
Elvis---I was watching you from Paradise and could not believe all the little boys you sexually molested. Most of these kids were under the age of 10.
Michael---You should talk King! You had sex with teen girls as young as 14 so what is the difference?
Elvis---I am from the South and we do things differently down in Dixie. People respected me for banging high school girls. I was the hero of all the Kool Kat guys in their Blue Suede Shoes.
Michael---Well, I was married a number of times and produced several children. I was just a loving parent.
Elvis---I was so furious when my daughter Lisa Marie married you in the 1990s. Thank goodness the two of you had no kids.
Michael---You may be the King of the 1950s but I was the King of Pop. But, it is now time for me to visit all my heroes here in Heaven. Where is Peter Pan, the Elephant Man, Turkey Lurkey and Bubbles the Chimp?