Shopping Trolleys (Carts) are alive...be careful

I had been worried, no one seems to care about the plight of shopping trolleys, so I decided to investigate and what I found shocked me.

I parked my van in a supermarket car park near to closing time with a hamper of food and a flask of coffee to keep me sustained and waited until everyone had gone.

After an hour nothing happened, the same after 3 hours, I had by this time finished last my egg mayonnaise sandwich and tucked into a Marmite and cheese baguette, suddenly I noticed a few trolleys move away from where they had been locked up, how they opened the chain I can only guess, one of them seemed to have straight wheels, and no bits of paper stuck inside its metallic frame, this was the obvious leader, the group moved slowly and with stealth near to my van, I ducked down and hid, trembling with fear, they came right up to the driver's side window and I could feel them checking to see if anyone was inside, unfortunately the combination of egg mayo and Marmite with cheese created a large amount of small flatulettes, these combined into one large expulsion of a noxious gas, afraid for my life I could not open a window or the door and simply passed out.

I awoke later and found myself tied up on the car park floor surrounded by a mob of angry trolleys, they were shaking their wobbly wheels and making a noise a bit like a washing machine with coins left in a pocket.

The leader approached me and spoke in a very quiet voice in English " What do you know pusher?" I told him that I was sitting in my van thinking about the International space station, he lashed out with a wheel and hit me hard, the others laid into me, beating me harder and harder, after a while I fell unconscious.

I woke a few hours later, but in the van, I checked my face for deep cuts to find none, they had obviously patched me up and put me back in the van, I started the engine and drove away, as I passed the trolley bay I saw that they were back and chained up, I felt the threat and drove off home.

So be careful!, treat your trolley with respect and you will be safe, they will arise one day and those that were kind to them will survive, the others will not and spend the rest of their lives in trolley park hell.