TED Talks:The Power of Vulnerability 1

So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do aspeaking event. And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you onthe little flier." And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, andI'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant." (Laughter) Okay. And she said, "But the thing Iliked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller." Andof course the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" And shesaid, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." And I was like, "Why not magic pixie?" (Laughter) I waslike, "Let me think about this for a second." I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, I ama storyteller. I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do. And maybe stories arejust data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller. And so I said, "You know what? Why don'tyou just say I'm a researcher-storyteller." And she went, "Haha. There's no such thing." (Laughter) So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today - we're talking aboutexpanding perception - and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of myresearch that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that Ilive and love and work and parent.

And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher, doctoral student, my first yearI had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does notexist." And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely." And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's in social work, a master's insocial work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career wassurrounded by people who kind of believed in the life's messy, love it. And I'm more of the, life'smessy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box. (Laughter) And so to think that I hadfound my way, to found a career that takes me - really, one of the big sayings in social work is leaninto the discomfort of the work. And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head and move it overand get all A's. That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you knowwhat, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to beable to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things Iknow are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.