plasticsoldiers Blog Post: Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:26 PM CST

plasticsoldiers Broken Arrow, Oklahoma USA
Posted:Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:26 PM CST

you have no idea....

Last December I met my match, or so I thought anyway. We stayed friends for a couple of months before taking it to the next level, and by that, I mean he came right out and professed his love for me. Of course, I felt the same. We were very in love, and became engaged within time as well. The only thing that caused any sort of problems for us was the distance, and the distance was hardly anything, but I hardly got the opportunity to go see him with school keeping me busy, and not to mention, he never had the time for me. We went camping once and it was the most unconventionally romantic two days you could imagine. When it came time to say goodbye, I could hardly tear myself away. Part of me knew that was the last time I would see him, and it was. We broke up a month later because he never had the time to see me, and I became impatient. I told him it wouldn't be forever, but apparently it wasn't my choice. Since the breakup, we've only talked a handful of times, every time except maybe once had resulted in a fight. The one time being last night. We had a normal conversation like we always had, we were being stupid with each other and talking about nothing in particular, and it was great until it got serious. I asked him if he's been talking to any ladies, and he said "um yeah, sort of". I shouldn't have asked what that meant, but I did. He told me he's engaged to one of his exes. When we dated he never had anything positive to say about any of his exes, so I was very shocked. It felt like he had just hit me in the head with a baseball bat. Every time I've talked to him since the breakup, I have made it very clear that I still love him. The last time we really talked, we got into a huge fight because of it. I told him I still love him, he told me he "can't be what I need him to be". When he told me he was engaged, my heart shattered. I knew I'd never love anyone as much as I love him. Not even past tense, I still love him, I will always love him. I ended up crying myself to sleep, tossing and turning for three hours, waking up and crying more. I've never felt like this, I've never let someone break me down like this. I'm so hurt.

How do you even recover from something like this...? crying crying crying

247 Views | 10 Comments



Comments

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tonymhancock League City, Texas USA
Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:37 PM CST
Your 20 years old.... I'll say that again YOUR 20 YEARS OLD. Cowboy up, go get drunk, have a ball.
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tgwstw Cork, Cork Ireland
Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:47 PM CST
Hey..
I have had to recover from a couple of kicks in the lack of nuts.
But regardless of how old you are, when you are hurt, it still hurts...
It's how you deal with the aftermath that counts.
Obviously you love him.
But he does not love you by his actions.
It is the truth, horrible and mean and unfair.
But he sounds like an asshole, you are a sensitive, sweet person...
Does he really deserve you? I think not.
Get back out there, we all gotta pick ourselves up when we take a fine fall.
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Lindosbay Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England UK
Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:58 PM CST
I've just broken up with someone I haven't even met and I'm devastated and I'm not 20 years old so age has nothing to do with it.

Its all to do with your emotional involvment and that is the mistake we made, allowing ourselves to be taken over completely.

I don't know what the answer is, but one thing is unless they are very good conmen you will always have some little tell tale signs that its not quite right, but because you are so blown away you choose to ignore them...in the future DON'T. If you have any doubts whatsoever take notice of them.

And as you are 20 years old you have the advantage on me there so give yourself time to get over it pick yourself up and find someone worthy of your love.
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DonDon67 Columbus, Georgia USA
Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:35 PM CST
yes you will recover and time heals all wounds,but in the future hold out for the one who has time for youpeace
sweet_saucy2008 Northwest, Tennessee USA
Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:07 PM CST
Things go like this, you will get over him. As with any lost love you will feel betrayed and so hurt by it, but in time your love will become a memory. An experience if you will. Sometimes it is better to experience such things to make us more aware of the next time.

Not to say this about all men, but men don't like to be alone so it if is with you or an ex girlfriend at least they have someone to hold onto. Women have strong spirits, we can withstand the hurt and heal. We can live alone independently if we choose to so so. I have been alone for 3 yrs. since my last divorce and have custody of my 3 yr. old granddaughter. Trust me, 90% of men do not want children around. I am a package deal and although I can get a sitter sometimes that is not enough. For them it is all or nothing. Their loss not mine as I am living my life by my rules without having to answer to anyone else. In other words you do not have to share your time or your house so I live as I like. My 2nd ex hated cats, I have 2, but since he needed to stay here until he could find a place he could do nothing about it. rolling on the floor laughing Boy his sinuses acted up when he was around.

At least you have not been married twice as I have only to be cheated and mistreated by both who swore they would love me. I was so hurt because I tried to be the best wife and mother and this was all I had to show for it. The best revenge is to move on and make a life of your own. They don't think you can live without them. There are better men out there, just take time to meet him and now you will recognize the signs that I ignored before.

Dry your eyes it only makes them swell and get busy. This is advice from someone who has been there, done that, and moved on. professor
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plasticsoldiers Broken Arrow, Oklahoma USA
Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:44 AM CST
Wow thank you all for your words...they really mean a lot. I know I'm young but I really don't think age determines maturity and the both of us were very mature for our ages. We did love each other, but he fell out of love with me and moved on. I didn't. Eventually I will, but right now I'm very hurt and trying to let it sink in that he won't be mine again. I'll survive, it's just gonna take a bit of a fight, which I'm absolutely no stranger to.
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loveubabe95 Sofia, Sofiya-Grad Bulgaria
Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:35 PM CST
Well...what can I say...? I went thru this, been there done that. After 13 years of separation I finally filed for divorce. Would I have been more reasonable and less emotional I would've lived less stressful life. The mere thought of being divorced horrified me...LOL Now as I turn back I find this immature as most deffinetely I was not and I am not the first and the last divorcee in the world. You should know something...Although my ex hurt me the day few people could I still catch myself from time of thinking about him and trust me that I have never admitted this to anyone even to my closest friends. One thing is for sure...when its over, its over. I know it hurts but, do not make the mistake of going back to him even if he truly changes his mind and decides he wants you back. Look forwards only and go on with your life. Your past is your past... it belongs only to you. Cherish the nice moments and keep them in your heart. You will fall in love many more times than you have ever imagined. Trust me on that! Good luck to you and God Bless!
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dbouc McDonough, Georgia USA
Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:11 AM CST
well to be honest read your story again, hes obviously one of those guys thats just looking for a quick fix, probably not sex, but he feels he has to live up to expectations, I mean look at it he was "engaged" to you and now hes "engaged" to one of his exes and I garuntee he was "engaged" to someone before you. I mean I met a guy at LAX who needed my phone since he lost his, nice kid, a Marine going out on duty and missed his flight to Hawaii, but he explained he came home to see his fiance and she broke up with him, it was his fourth broken engagement

plus as our friends below explained your 20 years old, you hardly know what love is to be honest I dont know and am not really searching, go out have fun and enjoy life before you have to be tied down, and be careful remember in a nation where 51% of marriages fail and up to 90% of youth marriages fail, just watch out and really question that person
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SweKathie Umea, Vasterbotten Sweden
Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:21 PM CST
It doesn´t matter how old you are. You have the same hurt.
But you have to think, there is thousands and thousands men out
there, waiting for the love that you have to give and they want´s to recieve and give. Believe me, I´m 51 and every time it´s the same hurt, but as times goes by, you forget, and some one new disapear in you life. I which you all gl in love, so give me a smile and move on and think happy thougts.
Kathie
comfort
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jeninalyn kowloon Hong Kong
Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:47 PM CST
theres a lot of men out there go out and make fiends your still young theres a lot things will come on your way enjoy your life he will get a karma for what he did cheer upcheering

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