Posted:Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:55 PM CST
Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch…
Life's too short for me to stop…
Restless at 2.30 am can only lead to one thing! More writing.
I’m not really sure what’s going on in my head as the thoughts are leaping like furious frogs from one lily pad to the next. Can’t quite pin them down. I don’t like when my head is like this. Too busy, like a highway, cars going by are just whirring colors, distinguishable but just for a mili-second.
I had a really odd day yesterday.
I thought my kitten had gotten out and had run away. Spent a day in the rain, trawling through surrounding fields calling “Ozzzzzzy” for close to three hours. Came home, utterly defeated with squelching socks and shoes. I could feel my lip tremor, thinking of him out in the cold and rain, near dark. I always spend an hour playing with him in the evening, I kiss his belly and make him chase paper balls. So I went to my Dads car, sat inside it, radio blaring. The rain thudded down on the windshield. The evening was truly gray. I cried over my Ozzy so much so that I even said a kind of prayer to the God I don‘t really believe in but call on for comfort when the shit has hit the fan. Flicking through stations, I heard some adverts so started singing to myself a song that I love. “Been there done there messed around, I’m having fun, don’t put me down, I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet.” I had just that line out, when that very song started on the radio. I was like, fuck me!
So that cheered me up a little, at the randomness of it all. Wiping some soggy eye liner, I pulled my hood up, opened the car door and darted inside, after making a few more hollers for lil Ozzy.
Feeding the rest of my Cat brigade, I noticed that Cougar was scratching furiously at our bits and bobs drawer. I went over, opened it nonchalantly and low and behold…… Lil Ozzy was there, snoozing away. My heart leapt and I cracked a smile so big! How he had gotten in there, no-one knows. Unless someone thought a three month old kitten fitted the category of either a bit, or a bob.
Needless to say we rejoiced like we had just witnessed a mini miracle. After wolfing down some warm milk, he nestled on my lap. I spent half an hour scolding him for scaring the living shit out of me for no good reason. So sincerely was my disapproval at his AWOL day, that one would think he could understand me.
I think I might as well become at peace with my destiny long ago written in the stars. I am going to become a cat lady. Preferably one that brushes their hair and doesn’t smell of cat pee.
Before then however, I plan to find love or even just someone to be around who I‘m fond of, you can‘t set out looking for love. In my 7 years of interacting with the Cosmic forces, I know that for me, it just happens or not. It’s not something that you can see on the shop shelf of life and say “I’ll have that.” Well not for me. It’s much more coincidental and chaotic.
Gone are the days when I believed there is only one in your life who will fulfill all your dreams of what the L word should be. Stop thinking lesbian. Dirty mind! Not that lesbians are dirty, I’m sure their hygiene rivals none. Anyway, I think there is someone out there that I could have a shot with.
I like him lots. We talk about anything and everything. One of our conversations went from kebabs to condoms, all within an hour. That truly is covering all topical bases.
He’s funny and nice and of course, far away. I mean I wouldn’t just like someone near. That would be much too easy. So ya, maybe we’ll be friends, maybe we’ll be more maybe he’ll even save me from the cat lady prophecy. Fucked if I know. So I’m just hoping that by getting these static thoughts out the Cosmic Forces will look kindly upon me and let things go right.
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