Posted:Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:12 PM CST
Leave before the lights come on.....
On the topic of one night stands in a discussion with a friend lately, I realized that I came across as really judgmental and I try to be open minded in all things. She stated that sometimes, it’s just about sex, that you can detach yourself and just have some fun. I looked at her, like she was a stranger.
Now I am no holier than thou angel. I reckon in my local, there are maybe a handful of guys that I haven’t locked lips with. I’d play tonsil tennis with your Grandma after a tequila. But there is always this lil voice of reason a yelling at me, to not go further, to stop. I mean I know I would never ever have a one night stand sober. Drunk….. I’ve been close a couple of times but I always nipped it in the bud.
I just associate sex with love, failing that, emotion close to fondness. Have done since I was a little girl. I made Ken and Barbie scissor, just because they loved each other and because I had seen a rather soft core scene in Santa Barbara the day before. I knew people had sex from a young age. No-one told me, but our TV viewing wasn’t overly censored. To make a baby a man hopped on a woman, jumped around a bit , breathed all heavy and low and behold, this was how women got pregnant.
As I got older, I knew well that some people fuck. Some make love, and some like me, just have plain ole sex.
I know plenty of my friends, both men and women see a one night stand as ordinary as I see having a tequila on a Friday night.
It’s not that I am backward or that I am a prude. Far from it, some here know I have a filthy crass kind of humor but I never got the fucking and fleeing thing.
I’ve heard all about the walk of shame. If I spend the night with someone, I want to know them. I want there to be breakfast and kisses the next morning, not an awkward gathering of clothes and idle promises of “calling”.
Now if there is an understanding of casual sex, I don’t berate people for going out to get theirs. I am referring to the random drunken hook ups. Going back to a strangers house, guys ejaculating here there and everywhere without knowing their "lovers" last name. That freaks the fuck out of me.
I don’t think it’s right. Now I have potentially insulted a dear friend. She has calmed down a lot in recent years, but we had been discussing the good old days when we were too young and stupid to care about our actions, then in retrospect the things we had done and wished we hadn’t. I think she made some bad decisions. As did I, this was not a one sided argument. I’ve fucked up a good bit in my life, I know this, she knows this and I don’t have a problem with her disapproval of certain things that I had done. I only have an opinion because I care about her. A lot. I want her to be loved and treasured. Even if that can’t be achieved, not to be used for a brief few hours. There are some she regrets, others she does not. I just don’t get the mentality behind it.
Do those that repeatedly have one night stands lack self esteem? Do they just want to fuck? I think such hollow screwing is detrimental to ones self value. I don’t take it back but I’m just wondering if there’s something that I’m missing, will I suddenly have an AHA moment and realise that for some, random fuckfests are a positive thing………
Anyway, that’s all that was on my mind.
Hessmeister signing out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEukS2YN9B8 (song sums up my opinion)