kubera Blog Post: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:35 PM CST

kubera Hong Kong Hong Kong
Posted:Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:35 PM CST

Can I cry?......

Quite depress tonite... memories remind me I failed... failed and failed... again.. again.. and again...

Whenever I met a man via internet it seems very sweet from the beginning and a very sad ending. The first one i met at 1998.. he fly from US to visit me for a week that both of us are so happy to each other. I still remember the day he fly back to US, tears come from his eyes.. it's so true.. so real. But one week later of his trip back to US, he told me he begins to date girls from internet.. six months after he told me he's going to get marry.

The one I met after the US guy, is the one I wrote in most of my blog here... whom never tell me truth about his life.. his trip.. his exact date of arrival... whom always not willing to spend a holiday or a weekend with me, never bring me along in any of his social gathering for the past 9 years.. though I still hope he's the one I can settle down with. On my 50th birthday this year,I told him how much I wish he can celebrate with me, but he said it's a public holiday, cannot celebrate with me, because he promised to go to trip with his friends. On my birthday I called him... he's not going trip indeed, at home on bed but still say cannot celebrate with me !!

This July his birthday, he said he is at UK celebrating with his parents, i called him wishing to say Happy Birthday to him... He is BACK already!! Just not wishing to let me know.. just not choosing me to celebrate with him...but someone else...

Since last Saturday, I tried not to call him to see whether he'll give me a call... today is Thursday already.. NO CALL from him at all... not even a MSN... not even an email... May be he's very happy not hearing from me...

Why I'm still here... i've been keep searching for more than 10 years... but no successful case at all... I really want to cry.. but I know once it starts it cannot stop... crying

190 Views | 6 Comments



Comments

sweet_saucy2008 Northwest, Tennessee USA
Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:08 PM CST
Perhaps you should consider the idea that you did not fail, but the others failed you. Long distant relationships are tough at best, but when it is from say the U.S. to another country the weight of the distance puts a strain on people's feelings.

This works the same way if two people from the U.S. are a distance apart. I knew someone from Florida that I met via this site. For more than a month I was given promises that he wanted to leave there and get away from an ex. girlfriend. Then I was given excuses for why it would take longer and then he could not give any time.

Now I was not in any hurry, but my time is worth more than waiting around for him. Your mistake was in not giving up long ago when the excuses were coming. I hear the people say, "Live and Learn," but at what price?

Crying for a lost love or time wasted would be pointless. Hold your head up and take things a day at a time. Meeting the right fit just takes time. hug
TaraHill Reading, Berkshire, England UK
Thu Jul 30, 2009 5:36 PM CST
When I read your story it made me feel sad. My advice to you would be allow yourself to cry let all the negative emotions out. Im sure it will make you feel better and hopefully after you will feel stronger. Definitly dont contact him if he truly cares about you he will contact you xx.
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rubendario Hartford, Connecticut USA
Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:07 PM CST
Mike Mitchell



In response to: sweet_saucy2008
Perhaps you should consider the idea that you did not fail, but the others failed you.


I would take what this poster wrote very seriously. You have not failed. Don't blame yourself. You have a character trait that many of us suffer from. You are an optimist, you look at the beauty in people, their strengths, their potential, and you trust them.

Others see this and they steel our trust, our touch, our passion, and our intimacy for their own selfish pleasure. They do not think about other people's feelings and they are void of compassion. They are self-centered and only think about themselves with no regard for other people's feelings.


In response to: TaraHill
When I read your story it made me feel sad. My advice to you would be allow yourself to cry let all the negative emotions out. I'm sure it will make you feel better and hopefully after you will feel stronger. Definitely don't contact him if he truly cares about you he will contact you xx.


I agree with TaraHill, let yourself grieve and this will allow you to get over this man. But also don't waist time by grieving too long.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I must tell you, from what I have read, this man does not love you and only thinks about himself. A man that loves a women will always celebrate all things with her as much as humanly possible.

I wish you the best and God's blessings!! hug bouquet
ingi67 Geneva, Geneve Switzerland
Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:59 AM CST
lot of the angst of moving on comes from self-judgments about when and how and why you should move on and what you did wrong. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’re not nuts; you’re not strange; you’re not obsessed; you’re not a fool. Your big crime is innocence. The only sin you can possibly commit is doubting yourself. You’re just human and you felt something. At the time, whenever that was, it felt right. Accept that your feelings are your feelings and let them be .
Feelings are hard to feel and even harder to understand. They’ll pass when the time is right and not a moment sooner.
The trouble for many people after their breakup or divorce is that this pain can be so unbearable that without realizing it, they unknowingly do some things that are counter-productive to healing their pain. They actually stay stuck in that pain, sometimes forever.

Sometimes, you'll hear a song on the radio or one might pop into your head that reminds you of a certain time and person that you were with.

Other times, someone will say or do something that reminds you of a past relationship and you realize that even though days, weeks, months or even years may have passed, there's still more healing to be done.
so if wish you to cry cry..nothing wrong with this.but move on ..you are beautiful inside out.so tell your self he did not deserve you..you are better..love your self.value your self.it was not meant to be ..so please be happy and move on i am sure good time will come.

hug
spunkey272 Grangeville, Idaho USA
Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:44 PM CST
The worst thing you can do if the man in your life
is avoiding you is to email, phone or write to him.
because absence makes the heart grow fonder and he
within a few weeks, i know this from expeirence, he
will start thinking about you agian and let him make
the next move because if you do it will send him
packing faster than the speed of light.banana
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Lindosbay Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England UK
Sun Aug 2, 2009 5:53 AM CST
I'm sitting here crying as I type this over my lost love, but believe me they are not worth it.
Move on, make yourself forget him, if he isn't responding the way he should then you will only end up getting hurt. He possibly hasn't got the guts to tell you the truth and is hoping you will take the hint.
One thing you must never do is blame yourself, he is the one losing out, be true to yourself and move on.
All sounds a bit harsh, but I believe in being truthful.
When I'm feeling this way I often try and think what advice I would give someone else in the same situation, that usually brings me to my senses.hug

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