Women!!
I should have taken my late grandfathers advice when he said that women were made to love; not to understand. Now, with hindsight, it makes perfect sense. After all, there is no logic in love either.The source of my current confusion is my ex girlfriend. She broke up with me two weeks ago. This did not come as a complete surprise as we saw very little of each other, though we did enjoy each other when we were together. The surprise was more in the timing – she did it one day before her birthday.
Anyway, she phoned me the same evening to hear if I was OK; as if I was going to hang myself in the garage.
Then the next morning she called me to remind me that I promised her a night out on her birthday. Well, we went eating out, had a few drinks at a nearby pub and went home. She stayed for the night.
The confusing part is that while she regularly reminds me that we’re no longer an item, she now spends more time with me than ever before; and she no longer goes to those boring parties. When her friends call, she declines their invitations. She spends her weekends with me, doing the things I want to do. And I now have a key to her place.
Before she broke up she used to sleep over one night a week (normally on a Sunday or a Monday) and we went out Wednesday evenings. Since she broke up (22 November) until now, she only slept at her home three times. And every time she asked me to spend the night at her place. I accepted once.
She has a way to break surprises while I’m still half asleep. This morning she asked me if she can spend her holiday (16 Dec – 6 Jan) here with me. “But you are here in anyway”, I said.
“No”, she replied, “not like that. I mean coming here with a suitcase, as if I’m a thousand miles from home, not going home to change.” She’ll chip in with the food, she added. All this only a few hours since she last reminded me that we’re not an item anymore.
Well, try as I want, I cannot understand her train of thoughts. Maybe if I try not to understand, I eventually will.
You have a wonderful day.
Comments (52)
There's no questions she digs you.
This is crazy. You don't break up to test feelings.
But all things aside, I'm happy with the current situation. Things were not half as good when we were still an item.
Not sure to say sorry to hear your story or to say good for you. But, I was going to post a similar blog about to guy friends I have that have been with many women. One of them was actually married to a NFL cheerleader.
They both say the same thing....women are only good for one thing.
Now, you are saying the same thing here.
Hmmm....is there some truth to that?
They don't mean to really break up....they want to see the reaction.
Maybe part of why its called "Crazy Love". lol.
We should just be adored, to love, to store also us and to admire!
Good heavens no! I'm not saying that. Women have many other virtues. It is just that sometimes I find them hard to understand.
Crazy love or Crazy Women? And why does she keep on reminding me that we're not an item anymore. It does not bother me whether we're an item or not. What's important to me is that she's around and I'm happy about it. What's bothering her?
Yes, that is what my grandfather said as well. Understanding is mot required.
Soul it is impossible to understand us.
And heart it is difficult to embrace us,
And logic it is difficult to comprehend us.
I can't say its a behavior that women as a gender identify with....I was just trying to find an explanation.
Rather than seeing it as (women don't make sense, can't be understood), I would see it just as confusing behavior.
To make it simple, why not just ask her? I would.
I agree with Calm...she was testing you to see your reaction.
Now you're not an "item" anymore you're certainly getting more benefits than before !
The question is : how do you feel and what exactly do you want or prefer? Because I feel that if you don't tell her what she wants to hear she's likely to do it again and you'll be writing another blog in the new year feeling even more confused???
Right, some things are better left unsaid. It can be detrimental to your health.
That a lot of wisdom in just a few lines.
Well being crazy could be high on the agenda.
A woman has to be at least a bit crazy to be involved with me.
My Grandfather had a saying for me , If it s not broken, don t try and fix it, or figure it out, (maybe he was referring to women)
I don't know if you read my blog on 22 November when she broke up. At that stage we have already accepted that we are not compatible and that it could not last. We were just going through the motions. We were leading different lives and only saw each other twice a week. And then suddenly...
Now she invoked all these changes. I did not ask her to change or to shed her friends. When she broke up, I accepted it. We were not compatible and we both knew it. We have often discussed it.
If she saw a future with me and wanted to replace her friends and lifestyle with mine, why not just do it? What's the point in breaking up and then to proceed as if nothing has happened ? And why keep reminding me all the time that we're not a couple when everybody with just a little sense can see what we are?
My friend, having a good technical aptitude I learned very early not to fix what is not broken, but I'm known to dissemble and reassemble what is not broken to see what makes it tick so I can know how to fix it when it does eventually break.
Yes, there is nothing broken here, but this is an enigma that I need to understand. She took something that did not work too well and she fixed it. Then why does she pretend that it is not working?
Somehow I expected more from you.
Consider adding 'some' to your blog title...
I'm in full agreement with you. What are you referring to?
Oops!!
She felt tied down 'going out' with you, even if she didn't see you all that often. She still felt under pressure (happening entirely inside her own head I may add)
Now that that pressure has been lifted, she feels comfortable and relaxed meeting up with you, and so does it more often.
Some people simply feel pressurised being in any kind of relationship. When that pressure is off, they are happy again.
Simples
But if she just didn't want to be "tied down" in a relationship, why make lifestyle changes to make the relationship work, and initiate even more of a relationship than before?
I have just read Molly´s comment which makes perfect sense to me too!
In other words... it´s all about control!
Now that she has cut the ties of being an item/couple with you, she can see you when and where she decides - control!
You, yourself, can see it clearly that you a not compatible but yet... she seems to have you exactly where she wants you and you´re falling for it!
Did she cast a spell on you?
It's hard to explain, but I understand it
Are you saying that she is not in a relationship now? I thought maybe she does not want to be committed... but now she is more involved with me than ever. If what we have is not a relationship, I don't know.
Besides, I enjoyed our arrangement before. I could do as I wanted and seeing her twice a week was ok. I definitely did not put pressure on her. I never asked her to change, nor to swear off her friends. I did not ask for more of her time either.
The whole thing boggles my mind.
Believe me, this gal knows exactly what she wants. I think she just does not want to tell me about it.
It is hard to explain.
I know you said you were happy the way it was, but she was not. And this is not about you
However, it is up to you now to decide if you are happy in this non-relationship in which you meet more often. You have to set your own perimeters now.
I don't know if I can go along. Before it wasmay have been about control. She decided when she wanted to see me. I had to fit into her agenda in order to see her. Not so anymore. Now she spends all of her free time with me, not dictating what to do and quite happy to go with the flow.
And she's interested in what I do in the day. When we go out on the sea fishing, she ask me about it at night and pays attention to what I tell her. She even said that she'd like to go along one day to feel what it's like.
She knows what she wants.
I do enjoy her presence. No problem there.
But the change worries me. Sometimes I get a notion that she's doing this to show me what fun she can be and then after a given period she may just change back to her old ways and demand that I'd be with her as she was with me. I really hope that is not the case for I could never be that way. Small talk and chit-chat had never been my way. I found her friends snobbish, cold and shallow.
Whatever,
Maybe, as we are not an item, I should tell her to stay home one night and date somebody else that evening. Then she can decide if she wants to remain in such a NSA relationship, for that is what it is turning out o be.
That she does, but she can at least let me into the secret.
But seriously, yes you could.
The ball is in your court now.
You can either decide to enjoy a non-committed relationship for the benefits that go with it, or not.
Your choice
Well, I'm sure the freedom to date other women is included in the package. I just think it will be a bit unfair towards the other woman because I am in a relationship. No matter what what my girlfriend(?) may want to call it.