Understanding Misery

I think that many people enjoy being miserable. They go thru life trying to find people that are more miserable than they are so they can feel better about themselves. They tend to resent those that are content or joyful in life.

Compliments to them, puts them defensive because they think there is an ulterior motive. Twisted people twist honest comments to mean some very strange things.

They go home and wonder "Whats wrong with my shoes?" "I need my hair redone" or "OMG, I used too much/too little eye-shadow today" or worse.
Oh, if we only lived in a world where things were taken at face value.

Misery is a result of depression. Everyone deals with depression at some point in their lives. The depression is a self-sustaining misery that is inside and can only be stopped by yourself. It is created and maintained only by you.

People are bombarded during their lifetimes with ideas based on delusions. We are told by society, friends and family how life is supposed to be lived. We are told how we should feel about things and what is supposed to be important. When we do not live up to the expectations placed upon us we feel we have failed in some way.

Life is just life, nothing more.
Your life is an accumulation of things you have experienced, feel and believe. It is yours and yours only.
My life is not the same as your life and that is normal. What is important to you may not be important to me and vice-versa. You are either alive or you are not.

Depression comes when what we expect from life is not want we encounter in life. Others tell you what to expect in life. When those expectations do not happen it is a let down. When you tell yourself what to expect in life you are setting yourself up for misery because life is just life. Misery leads to depression which leads to misery which deepens the depression.

There are ways to cope with misery and cope is what you must do to master yourself.
The most important thing to know is that you are the only one that lives/lived your life. Nobody on this planet has more experience being you than you. Recognize the things you tell yourself that are initiated by others. Ask yourself if you really like this or despise that or is it because that is what other people have told you to do?
Embrace your strengths and identify your shortcomings and either do something about them or accept them as they are. Don't be who you are expected to be, be who you really are.

A man once told me that to find a woman you have to act like a man. Well, I thought about it for a moment and replied..."I AM a man". What makes me a man? His reply was that I should watch football and be a tough guy. Well, I don't like those kind of sports and I don't force my beliefs on anyone let alone demand anything of them. I am a male and I have played the Manly Man game to the point I lost myself for a bit. I learned to just be me and not worry about how others think of me. I find that people like the me I am, as I am, naturally without those forced delusions.

Anytime you are deluded into being something you are not you will get depressed because it is more difficult to maintain a lie than to be honest. Those failures that come with maintaining a deception add to your inner misery causing discomfort. All of it is caused by you, yourself and the failure of being deceptive to yourself.
If you understand yourself and own your own feelings and desires you can live in an honest state of mind.

My depression almost killed me years ago. I was ready to just end this misery anyway I could. I sought assistance and learned the things I needed to learn. I have been stripping away delusional thinking ever since. Delusions of society. Delusions of other people and my own self-sustaining delusions. It is a work in progress and I may never be able to see reality clearly but I am making steady progress.

I love me. Without me - there is nothing.