The art of interesting conversation
How would you best describe the stage interesting, one on one, conversation goes with the opposite sex. Let's say it is a conversation between you and a person you might be interested in dating.During these stages, what turns you off?
When does it become boring and you want to prevent that from happening?
What keeps you engaged completely?
How soon before you get into topics of private matters?
What if your life is not some dramatic Hollywood movie and it is somewhat mundane?
What if you are not comfortable talking about private issues?
Are there any tricks to the trade in the art of conversation one could gently extract that?
From my experience, most conversations starts with the meaningless chit chat...."oh, you do that for work." "I do this." "This is what I do for hobbies and the music I enjoy." blah,blah,blah....put me to sleep after days of emails back and forth with that stuff.
So....what stages do you find a good conversation takes to maintain and interesting dialog between you two?
I know...most conversations are spontaneous and most people do not think of it as stages...but, there has to be an underlying pattern?
Comments (27)
Litmus Test-you'll have to find out from her
Whether it's A or B * comfort food
If she has ice cream,she just went through a breakup.
You didn't hear it from me.
If she gives you a pet name immediately= possessive
I thought all women love chocolate and ice cream....break up or not.
D.777, Has A Good Point!
Lol! Lol! And Lol.
Talking about ex's in my biggest pet peeve! I like to hear a man's interests, what does he really like to do hobbie, sport? I like to know if the relationship has the possibility of going anywhere and he still will do things he likes and not smother me.
Yeah I know, I'm tough work!
They have to show a genuine interest in me, have read my profile, maybe read blogs and threads and ask a question about something that caught their attention.
They have to show they have a similar sense of humour, are intelligent, interested in various topics, open and honest.
It depends on the person how soon we get on to personal topics. Some feel the need to tell or ask quite quickly, and I am ok with that, as long as some trust has built up.
None of us lead Hollywood lives. That does not mean to say our lives are uninteresting. But a person having an interest and knowledge of the world around them is a definite positive for me.
I love when somebody can talk passionately about a topic. Not to the stage that I would get bored hearing about it (some men have tunnel-vision about topics that interest themselves!) but enough to engage and learn, and debate if needs be.
I found a guy just like that
He and I sometimes talked up to 6 hours on Skype. Normal days 4 hours, everyday.
We might run out of topic to talk at this rate we are going!!
I would find it very hard to talk for 4-6 hours!
I am not a natural talker. I will chat away in a casual setting, but I find Skype or even telephone chatting a bit stressful.
No wonder I'm single!
I was like that once but my NiceGuy changed all that. With him, it's never enough....
I commented on a blog once that he and I can talk just about anything. From serial killers to cars, really just about everything. He's a very funny guy too and at the same time, a very good listener.
Some men (yeah, I'm generalising) can only concentrate and talk about one issue at a time. Eg. new car, ad nauseum.
one day, a lady was talking to me on the phone. Suddenly, I had to take a bathroom break. So, I put the phone down without telling her. A few minutes later when I returned, picked up the phone, she was still talking, like if I had never left.
I just said, "Uh huh. Yeah, sure. Oh I know, you're right, sweety. You're always right."
Hmmm, I have never had anyone constantly reminding me of the cost of a call....but, I have a lady remind me that she has been calling me...when the hell will I call her.
Thanks Lisa.....good tip.
So a pity party don't work with you. That is interesting, I think there are many men out there that try to engage conversation that way.
I remember one time....I will not say who it was.....
But....
A guy had just broken up with his gf and was in a vulnerable emotional state. While talking with this woman at a bar, she ended up walking away from him...saying to the bartender, "this guy needs help."
No comment to who that guy was.
So....no go with pity party.
I often wonder, two can only talk so much about that sort of stuff. For me, I get bored really easy and talking about hobbies and the such for 4+ days gets me at the point of either puking or sleeping. What would be next for you for keeping the conversation interesting?
The stages part is hopefully an area that will better develop here with this blog.
I mean, there is only really so much small chit chat somebody can talk about before it reaches the point of complete boredom or resistance to wanting to respond with the same stuff.
Maybe my attention needs to be stimulated more than others....
But, there has to be something after the small chit/chat.
...it sounds like interesting topics....
but....it also sounds like you have a genuine interest in his interesting topics.
It is taught by pick-up artists to actually start on one topic, don't even finish it, and then go to a whole different topic....don't finish that....maybe go back to the original one, or even start a new one.
Just jump around like that...it keeps the attention span more focused on the conversation. Also, it will get you potential partner more involved(invested) with asking you questions about how the other topic ends.
That could mean...you are not alone with that.
Thank you.