Respect
RespectSome people say that respect must be earned but I cannot agree with them. I believe that everybody deserve to be respected; at least until they prove themselves to be not worthy of that respect.
What if the person has screwed up so big time that you have lost your respect for that person? You’re not cross, just disappointed. Is that enough reason to treat the person without respect? And can the person regain that respect with some effort?
Would you feign respect in order to preserve your job? It would seem that respect is closely linked to our needs or love for the person. Or is it fear that keeps you in line. It takes balls to tell somebody you need, fear or love that he or she has f*cked up and that you’re unhappy about it.
Why do we treat some people whom we loath with so much respect? Why is it that we treat those we love, fear or need with respect, regardless of whether they deserve that respect or not, while we disrespect some others who have done nothing to forfeit our respect? Just because we disagree with their opinion, politics, religion or views.
Maybe respect is just something to show people how refined we are; something to harness our fears, to provide in our needs and to fulfill our loves; something we employ to serve ourselves.
It's a beautiful day without wind. Hope you have a great day too.
Comments (52)
Then people can go up in our estimation, up to a 10, or down to a miserable 0.
There are lots of people whose views I wouldn't agree with, but if they put their views across in a respectful way, then I respect them and their views. Maybe not agree with, but respect.
The topic troubles me. I wish I could understand it better.
Last night I bumped into a fella who has had no time for. We're not bad friends but we tend to avoid one another. Instead of greeting and walking off as we usually do, he struck up a conversation paying lip service and telling me how much he respects me. And all the time I stood there I wondered what the hell he wanted from me.
He did not come around to asking but at a few times I could see that he was at the verge of saying something else. I was pressed for time and could not hang around long enough to hear him out, but I know he wanted something from me. Btw, he did ask for my phone number which I gave to him as we parted, but I'm sure that is not what he wanted from me in the first place
Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
Hmm, but my concern is: how do we proceed when that respect is forfeited. When somebody lost your trust it is ok not to trust that person. But if you lose respect for somebody, do you still treat him with respect even though you have none for him. Isn't that pretending?
Yes, we're shaped into it from small; part of the facade we build around us as a telltale of being civilized. But it is also something that we can turn on and off at will as required from time to time. It's not spontaneous. At times it is artificial and superficial.
Basic respect is necessary but that can be lost within the first few seconds of interaction....or it can increase dramatically, all depending on that interaction.
I think that respect, like trust, is difficult to get back but it's do-able.
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Though not deserve it I believe I owe it to myself to be respectful to others especially in the public's domain.
Status, fear or the fact that the person has displayed a disrespectful behaviour has nothing really to do with the choice I take to be respectful. I will not take the opinion of others to decipher if that individual deserves my respect, to me the choice is personal.
Honestly though, some people should be avoided.
They are too callous with their behaviour.
I respect, and often admire, people who have suceeded in their chosen field or done great things for humanity.
But it doesn't mean I like em.
Quite so, but when you have lost your respect for somebody, how do you proceed. When you need or fear the person, it is easy, you feign it. It is self-preservation. Bu what if you have no need fear or love for the person. Do you still treat him as before?
Sure, that is what society and being civilized require from us. But respect goes deeper than what really meets the eye. Is there not a difference between respecting somebody and treating somebody with respect? I mean, who do we really respect and what is it that we respect about him. Is it possible to respect somebody for some of his characteristics while we loath him for other reasons?
Respecting somebody you do not really like sounds good.
Liking somebody seems to be the spoiler. That is when you start paying respect that would not otherwise have been there. That is the feigned respect I'm referring to. There can be a lot of prejudice in respect; well, so it seems to me.
Very interesting and valid points made...For me I think it's more of being respectful to the individual rather than respecting the individual.
how about consideration...instead of the big R?
In my opinion the term respect is more a requirement without obligations .
If you are considerate on the hand ,is realistic and manageable,without getting oneself in a situation of self doubt?
I know about at least one thing that women can and do feign very well.
But that is what I call good old-fashioned good manners. Another rarity these days.
Good manners must prevail, even when respect was lost. Having lost respect for somebody is no reason for bad manners
I was raised that way.
Right!! It comes back to good manners and being polite. Both, together with respect, being sub-components of each other. You seldom find the one without at least some degree of the other two.
Sorry, I could not resist that one, but not to worry, You are noted to be one of the rare exceptions.
Well, that is the fruit of civilization. But sometimes I wonder how civilized we really are. Maybe were sliding back. Maybe the Romans had a better civilization than us and maybe the Sumerians were better than the Romans. Civilization is not measured by the technology. It is the people and their behavior that counts in my book.
It just covers over its incivilities in a veil of civility.
Sorry Mate, your sneaked by unanswered. I read it but then got carried away by a phone call. Nothing personal, I simply forgot.
Regarding your comment, our leader will have a hard time gaining respect while they betray our trust. Empty campaign promises do not help them one bit.
Those are the people I distrust the easiest. Having promised nothing there is nothing you can hold them to. No base line to measure them against. And the best con men are confident in what they're doing. of course I may be paranoid again.
Yes, Nero, Julius Caesar, Hannibal, Thutmose 3, Alexander, Hammurabi and many other warlords were all said to be civilized.
Yes, Nero, Julius Caesar, Hannibal, Thutmose 3, Alexander, Hammurabi and many other warlords were all said to be civilized.
As for people in casual settings, .. you can pick up on the person's vibe.
But that's just my perspective
As for losing respect, once it's gone.. well, it's gone. If i have to interact with them, i'd be as civil as i can, but i would not make an effort.
Who knows what lurks in the back of my mind.
Civilize
Hypocrisy plays a vital role in civilization.
For this same reason I stay away from politics as much as possible as that word has been politicized by many and their elites. For me it involves rational comprehensive thinking from an individual perspective therefore attitude which equals change most times ought to be employed.
An attitude not of acceptance but that which of tolerance and that means that everyone won't be the same and regardless of the bad there is some good...dwell on the good but be mindful that the bad is somewhere lurking beneath the all that wonderful facade.
I agree with your first paragraph entirely. I respect everybody until proven otherwise. And not the other way round.
Btw.What's happened with you and your..? Are you still one item?
And if it isn t returned, it ends. How can a person respect someone who is arrogant,disrespectful, rude and ignorant towards them
I ve worked with people ,who were rude,arrogant ,and disrespectful towards me , but for my job, I had to put up with them. They usually lost my respect, and at the end of the day, and got a cold shoulder. On the brighter side, I did learn what kind of person I didn t want to be
As for those rude people , I worked with, I think I respected their position at work,not the person, and at the end of the day, it was left there.
" If Someone Is waiting For Repect To Be Earn"
Then no one would be respected in the begining!
In stores, business places, neighbors and etc........
IMO!
Repect Starts From The Beginning, From Both People......
What you described sounds very much like what I understand as diplomacy. Something like I'm lying you,knowing that you know that I am lying. We both know it is nothing personal, just the way governments interact. No wonder there had always been at least one war going at someplace on the planet throughout history.
You grab to correct concept...