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"How can this happen if the before marriage seems so perfect? How to deal with this dilema?"

I am convinced you need to find a true and best friend that you have strong chemistry with. Avoid intimacy until the friendship is built solid with full transparency. Then move into the intimacy stage, you'll end up with a friend for life that understands you, and who's hot in the sack!! I can't help but think, this the perfect combination for a perfect bond that can last a life time.

hi nice to see. yeah I saw many life examples.

maybe just time , life period is changing all things.

sometimes I think I would better to build a family who will have same interest and thinking.

That's why it is so important to dedicate time knowing each other to the fullest.
Sometimes we get to involved with the romantic stages that we really don't look clearly if he/she is the right person for you.
A life time is a long time but a time that you spend really in a loving and understanding relationship is worth as long as it lasts.

I believe there are stages to follow in your relationship to make it a perfect one. However I see people skip certain stages in relationships. Like skipping tracks on a cd, you may like the odd few songs, but you dont give the chance to hear the rest. That how I feel its like. But having that in mind, and I dont want you to take this wrong, I hope you women find agreement, that a lot of women, tend to keep certain info from there Husbands, boyfriends, so then its hard for understanding. Like when we argue or fight over an issue, think about it? are you arguing over the issue or trying to score points by saying more nasty things at each other? when we argue, we dont tend to look at the problem to try understand it, we go in with blazing arrorws and daggers at each other, then you either end up breaking up or someone getting hurt. instead of looking at the problem to try understand things. Understanding is in our nature in human life, and its part of exploring in relationships and learning about each other, so yes I feel understanding is part of that big book or romance. but its one of those track people seem to skip on a cd.

Because when everything is fresh and new you dont have time to see what the person is really like; that's why relationships take time sometimes.

Also it's easy for us to always blame the other person. Maybe we didnt' communicate our feelings very well.

It usually takes two to make and break a relationship.

I agree with MJ, and as time passes people can also change and grow apart from each other as was my case. It can make you very wary for the future because of the repeat possibility. But that is a negative attitude that I'm currently battling with, but I am also very much a realist, not a romanticist.

It is my understanding that in life, we pick instances which will teach us and give us opportunities for growth and resolution. I believe we are at fault first...because we choose situations and people. There is no relationship that is not in agreement with two people including the person that was harmed by a passing stranger.

Think about it. If you decide to change your trip to include some place you normally do not go and suddenly you are harmed, wouldn't you think it was a choice to go there that precipitated the whole incident?

So many times I feel very negative about something and if I go ahead with it and regret it...I look back and wonder why? Why did I go ahead with it? I knew it felt bad, yet I did it anyway. How can I blame someone else?

And then, I feel negative, do not go ahead with it and I hear later how things went real poorly and I am glad I chose differently. I give myself the credit for it...just as I gave myself the blame for ignoring my intuition before. I hope this helps.

There are so many people on this planet. There must be someone who does understand without too much effort. Unfortunately we all have something the other does not like that much.

Thanks guys. . . LOL