gorrestfump: just somethin i need to get off my chest.. comment on it as you like..
the issue is emotional blackmail.. women abusing men in other words.. for some reason society these days, sees the sexual needs and wants of woman to be more important than that of a man. example. I often see threads here where women talk about how long you should wait until you have sex with a new partner. well what about the guy. It's like he is a second class citizen in this scenario. since when was it a womans right to decide when the time is right for sex.
Not only that, but if a guy sleeps with a girl and doesnt call her again, he's a prick, or a sleazebag, or a user.. did you ever think maybe YOU WERE BAD IN BED and he doesnt wanna be with you again???
And if a guy does wait until she is ready, and he leaves her a few months later, he's also a prick, a user, or a sleazebag. He played by your rules and he still didnt win. Guys, we are damned if we do and damned if we dont.
I waited for 6 years for Sue and if needs be would do it again.
When we decided to have sex, it was when
both of us were ready.
Sex means a lot to both of us, as an emotional and physical committment. Neither of us can claim not to have done the fling bit, sex for fun, one night stand, but with someone you are serious about, sex is an important step forward in the relationships.
6 years ago I new Sue was for me and I waited for her, to be ready for a serious relationship. When we eventually got together I knew I didnt want to hurt her or myself and if we had had sex and we had split up, it would hurt us more. WE talked about sex but knew Sue wasnt ready for what I wanted so we waited, she never said I could not go somewhere else for sex, but I didn't want sex with anyone else. It was only when we were sure that we were in a serious relationship with each other and that I knew she cared about me as much as I did her that we started talkng about having sex knowing that we were going there. If things had not worked out between us, then we would have both been ok because we had taken the decision to have sex as part of our relationship together or taken the decision to wait. We did know that we were in a serious relationship before having sex, that we were committed to making that relationship work and that any problems that we have we would work at.
Yes, I know the Polish bloke
but that was Sue keeping her options open, thats a whole other area of her life
I think the problems start when theres a lot of hormones and chemicles but no talk, if its sex for fun, or just sex say so, if its sex not in a serious committed relationship, say so. If two adults make a decision based on facts then no one should end up hurt.
IMO Women hold out on men because they think if a man sticks around for ?? weeks or months he is committed, when he may not be, for whatever reasons the relationship breaks up and both feel used.
Sex does not make a committed relationship, but it is part of it.
If we had had sex earlier in our relationship, I dont think we would be as good together as we are now. Why didnt she have sex with me when she was having casual sex with others, because neither of us wanted to have casual sex with each other.
JMO
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