Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

Thank you........


In memory of George Carlin: click here to read the entire thread »

bump


shfieoosnnfhhu? jksfjieijkaks??: click here to read the entire thread »

I tried tho....


shfieoosnnfhhu? jksfjieijkaks??: click here to read the entire thread »

HAHA MADE YOU LOOK YOU FORUM ADDICT!!!!!!










shfieoosnnfhhu? jksfjieijkaks??: click here to read the entire thread »

wow sorry




DRUNK AND TRUE!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

Holy crap.....Think my avies forgot it was the playoffs.....




GO STARS!!!


Stanley Cup Playoffs: click here to read the entire thread »

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon


Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate


Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.


DRUNK AND TRUE!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

A little girl came running into the house bawling her eyes out and cradling her hand: "Mummy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!" she wailed.

"Why do you want a glass of cider?" asked her mom. "I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away!" Confused, but weary of the child's whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of cider. The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it.

"Ouch! It still hurts! This cider doesn't work!" she whined.

"What are you talking about?" asked her increasingly perplexed parent,

"What ever made you think that cider would ease your pain?"

"Well, I overheard my big sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider"


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

yep am home!!!


yay



The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

After a hard day at the office, three guys decide to go out for a cocktail to wind down.

The bar becomes very crowded, a few drinks turns into many and soon everyone is tanked.

All three lose track of each other and end up going home separately.

The next day at the office, the three gather by the watercooler to discuss the past evenings events.

The first guy says, "I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks."

The second guy pipes in, "That's nothing. I got so drunk that I got in my car and drove it right into a telephone pole. Totaled it. I didn't get hurt but now I have no car."

The third guy says, "Well, I got so drunk that when I got home, I cussed my girlfriend out and knocked over a candle which lit the apartment on fire. She dumped me, all my belongings are destroyed and the home insurance won't cover the damage."

The first guy motions the two to come closer and whispers, "I'm not sure you understand. Chunks is my dog."


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

hi?


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

To: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of the phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Jonathan Powell


To: Mr. Powell

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than their original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPSs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button, then the reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFS. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

“Something wrong, pal?” asks the bartender.

“Ah, my wife’s pissed,” the guy says. “The other day was my birthday, and she got naked and told me I could do whatever I wanted with her.”

“Nice,” says the bartender. “So what’s the problem?”

“I sent her to her mother’s house.”


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

There were three guys talking in the pub.

Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?".

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked.

He replied, "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
"A billionaire." she replied,


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

HEY YOU


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »

I am so hard.


4 WORDS LEADING UP TO SEX: click here to read the entire thread »

EVENING DES!!!!!!!


The Bar is open: click here to read the entire thread »