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American chats up a girl in an English night club

On the Dance floor he pecks her on the cheek
"We call that a kiss is America" -
"We call it a kiss here in England too " She say's
"
Then he gives her a squeeze- "We call that a hug in America
Reply from her "We call that a hug in England too".

Passions rise and he takes outside and as it's a summers evening they sneak into a park and start having sex on the grass.

He say's ....."We call this a grass sandwich in America "
She replies "We call it a grass sandwich here too -
but we prefer it with a little more meat"






An American in England: click here to read the entire thread »

Actually - There is a game called " Bucking Broncho"

When in the mids't of you know what.....

You call your partner by another name -

And see how long you can stay on


if your partner in bed call you with wrong name..: click here to read the entire thread »

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast.
"Bacon and eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit, and a cup of fresh coffee?"
He declines.
"It's this Viagra,"
he says,
"It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunch time, she asks if he would like something.
"A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?"
Again he declines.
"No, thanks. It's this Viagra,"
he says,
"It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a burger supper.
"Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That'll only take a couple of minutes."
Once more, he declines.
"Again, thanks, but it's this Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
"Well, then",
she says,
"Would you mind getting off me? I'm STARVING!"




Viagra -: click here to read the entire thread »

Die Hard...... I let you guess the rest


Alternative film plots: click here to read the entire thread »

Any More Rules.

Just add your own


LADIES - THESE ARE THE RULES -: click here to read the entire thread »

SLow Down at the bends
No excessive braking
Check Headlights
Beware of Tire Noise



Tattoo's below the waist - And suggested Wording : click here to read the entire thread »

Any body got anything to add in terms of rules


LADIES - THESE ARE THE RULES -: click here to read the entire thread »

The Mans Rules¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

At LAST SOMEONE HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY , THE GUYS' SIDE OF THE STORY.

WE ALWAYS HEAR ' the rules ' From the female side.

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

These are our rules!
Please note.: these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports : IT'S LIKE THE FULL MOON
OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will BE SCRATCHED.
WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... Really .

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL , OR FOOTBALL,
or golf, or Sex .

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.





LADIES - THESE ARE THE RULES -: click here to read the entire thread »

But I'm speaking mine in another ear.


Fabulous replay..........Made me laugh


ah-ha! (on the news today) - G-spot exists, claim scientists... : click here to read the entire thread »

Oh here you go

La petite mort, French for "the small death", is a reference for sexual orgasm. The term has generally been interpreted to describe the post-orgasmic fainting spells[1] or unconsciousness some lovers experience.


Claayer........ I like the noises you are making. We speak the same language.


I have died too


ah-ha! (on the news today) - G-spot exists, claim scientists... : click here to read the entire thread »

Men have been supplied with all the necessary tools to find this

Elusive SPOT.

It's just that many men prefer to use the most important piece of their armory almost straight away












ah-ha! (on the news today) - G-spot exists, claim scientists... : click here to read the entire thread »

When we fall in love we want someone who has the power to break our hearts - but who doesn't

Thay way we are loving right up to the edge.

A bad boy offers excitement - He also offers been unfaithful and maybe lots of other stuff -

Having been a bad boy in my time - I've come to realise - and the pain it brought me , that a glint in the eye is good

It's just best keep there for one person.

It's all a journey : No pain - No gain

In a way : Better the saint - who's been a sinner - than a Saint who's never sinned.




The Truth about Bad Boys...And why nice guys finish last...: click here to read the entire thread »

I have just been pursuaded by my Kids (Grown up as well )

To change my T.V

I am now the proud owner of a 40" Flat screen Which to me is so big it almost needs curtains.

Only benefit is the dog can now watch "The Dog Whisperer" almost real size - and he thinks it's great.

For me it say's "I watch a lot of Televisio " Which I don't

Life is out there ---- Give me human contact anytime - whether it's holding hands- or just conversation

Anybody want to buy a almost new T.V........


Sex, or a Plasma TV? British Men Pick TV !: click here to read the entire thread »

My Vet laughed when I told him this joke - and then blushed - ?????


Doctor in Turmoil: click here to read the entire thread »

Thanks for the comments


The Secret of Life: click here to read the entire thread »

Fabulous Pics

Are these from Photobucket I see mentioned


Fantasy pics, fairies, and other cool stuff!: click here to read the entire thread »

Man in bar with friend "

" What would you do if your Wife started smoking in BED"

Friend
" I'd slow down !


SMOKING IN BED: click here to read the entire thread »

Man rushes in to a bar - Knocks Back 3 Double Whiskey's

Barman say's ." What's happened "

Man say's " . Came home and found Wife in bed with my best friend"

Barman says ." Wow ! What next !

Man says........."Told Wife to pack her Bags and go.

Barman say's ...."What about your Best friend"

Man Say's .........." I looked him straight in the Eyes"

Barman Says.......What did you say ?

Man say's.............YOU BAD DOG.


Wife in Bed with Best Friend: click here to read the entire thread »

I was prompted to pen this to some degree by Daniels... Thread.

The secret of life I think is to try to enjoy the passage of time and the changes and growth that come with it - without trying to fix it - bend it or make it to our will.

Life unfolds - And we should treasure and experience it as something that will come and something that will eventually go.

Fill it - with being the best person you can be and maximise all your love and all your skills. Enjoy both laughter and tears.

Try to Feed yourself on 3 levels - Emotionally - Materially and Spiritually. We can all be out of balance for a while - But to be truly happy - we need to come back to balance - (Yin and Yang) Thats why people over greed on Food - Money - Possessions - you name it. All to satisfy a misplaced hunger.

Stand out side yourself sometimes - Look back in and Listen.

Try not to own either pain or pleasure - See pain as a passing cloud - You may not know the size of the cloud - but it will pass.
Stay brave - Stay honest and above all stay true to yourself.

Mentally try to own nothing. Then nothing can assail you.

When love enters your life - Whether that's the love of another person - a Wife - children - a friend - a job - an animal or whatever - Savour it for what it is - but don't try to possess it. own it - change it - or abuse it. Help it or them also to be the best people they can be.

When we go through rough times - we can all feel sorry for ourselves and lick our wounds - thats the human way - But in truth we are actually saying we deserve more - Depending on the situation - maybe we do.

It's a case of Dust yourself off - And start over again - Learning lifes lessons as we go.

Be stubborn sometimes - Stand your ground - But also know when to bend with the wind and above all -

Keep Smiling.

It's all out there - And it's a journey we all take - Just maybe on different paths -





The Secret of Life: click here to read the entire thread »

I was prompted to pen this to some degree by Daniels... Thread.

The secret of life I think is to try to enjoy the passage of time and the changes and growth that come with it - without trying to fix it - bend it or make it to our will.

Life unfolds - And we should treasure and experience it as something that will come and something that will eventually go.

Fill it - with being the best person you can be and maximise all your love and all your skills. Enjoy both laughter and tears.

Try to Feed yourself on 3 levels - Emotionally - Materially and Spiritually. We can all be out of balance for a while - But to be truly happy - we need to come back to balance - (Yin and Yang) Thats why people over greed on Food - Money - Possessions - you name it. All to satisfy a misplaced hunger.

Stand out side yourself sometimes - Look back in and Listen.

Try not to own either pain or pleasure - See pain as a passing cloud - You may not know the size of the cloud - but it will pass.
Stay brave - Stay honest and above all stay true to yourself.

Mentally try to own nothing. Then nothing can assail you.

When love enters your life - Whether that's the love of another person - a Wife - children - a friend - a job - an animal or whatever - Savour it for what it is - but don't try to possess it. own it - change it - or abuse it. Help it or them also to be the best people they can be.

When we go through rough times - we can all feel sorry for ourselves and lick our wounds - thats the human way - But in truth we are actually saying we deserve more - Depending on the situation - maybe we do.

It's a case of Dust yourself off - And start over again - Learning lifes lessons as we go.

Be stubborn sometimes - Stand your ground - But also know when to bend with the wind and above all -

Keep Smiling.

It's all out there - And it's a journey we all take - Just maybe on different paths -





The Secret of Life: click here to read the entire thread »