Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

omg now I remember why I left this site (other than the fact that I'm incredibly happily married now)... all these chronological "adults" with extraordinary amounts of baggage looking for love - GL!


Is it alright to give your child a spanking if well deserved?: click here to read the entire thread »

Parents are allowed to do whatever they want, and I don't believe a spanking is EVER warranted - all it does is teach children that they need to be afraid of the adults in their lives. Usually, spanking is the violent resort of an angry parent who doesn't have other techniques in their repertoire.


Is it alright to give your child a spanking if well deserved?: click here to read the entire thread »

With my husband it was his voice first... his lovely, resonant voice... mmmm....

then it was his eyes and his body, the whole package really... sitting next to him in church that first time...

then it was his intelligence and his spiritual commitments, which I started learning about in the 1.5 hours that we sat and talked after the service...




OK ladies this is your turn!!!Which one most attracts you on a man ? : click here to read the entire thread »

I'm married now (I wasn't when I joined last year) and I have it in my profile.



How many woman here are really married? Confess...: click here to read the entire thread »

Reading through this thread reminds me of one I used to go to last year, where people deliberately talked the most insane stuff. It made my head hurt to read it.

This is mostly negative, sarcastic, hurt, judgmental, and patronizing.

And some people coming from these sorts of beliefs and attitudes wonder why they're not in a relationship...


True Love: click here to read the entire thread »

I meant "which usually is some form of" (and then the decision)


What are your beliefs about the other gender, and relationships?: click here to read the entire thread »

Proving my point that people make up stories and think it's the truth...

I didn't "duck out" on anything, I only come onto this site once a month or so to check mail, normally.

I'll bet my life that when anyone on this thread was very small, something happened that was a huge upset for them. Something happened, and they made a decision about themselves or the situation, which they are There is something wrong with me... I'm bad... I'm not loveable... I'm all alone...

I do happen to have two degrees in psychology, and although I haven't written any books, I have been a therapist, and I have participated in a number of courses put on by the top training and development company in the world (they work with Apple, NASA, Reebok, Nike, two of the top mining companies in the world, the State Dept, the Dept of the Navy, etc.) Over a million people in over 125 cities across the globe have taken their courses, and they haven't found one human being yet who didn't have this happen to them.

It's all just part of being human, we all do it, but we don't remember we did it, until we go to certain kinds of therapy, or do something like these courses.

What's the patronizing tone for, all I was doing was expressing my opinion.

What got triggered for you?




What are your beliefs about the other gender, and relationships?: click here to read the entire thread »

I disagree.

My husband is a nice guy and there were women lined up to date him...

and he's mine... mwuahaha




why us nice guys finish last???: click here to read the entire thread »

A friend here whom I admire and respect enormously was dating someone recently, and told me they had agreed to "both be in love and then some" before *making love*.

Not sex, love.

They stopped dating after about 4 weeks, and I'm sure they were both very relieved they hadn't slept together.

You go Chris!!




Men....do you expect sex on the first date?: click here to read the entire thread »

The point of this post was to point out that we carry these beliefs into our adulthood, into our relationships, or into our conversations about getting into relationships. I saw some on some forums this morning that were so obvious it was ridiculous. It's a good idea to get clear about what some of these beliefs are in order to see what YOU are creating in YOUR life out of believing it like the truth about men, or women, or yourself.

What are your stories that you think are just the way things are? How are they affecting your self esteem, your relationship with your parents or siblings, or your desires to get into a relationship?


What are your beliefs about the other gender, and relationships?: click here to read the entire thread »

People go through life with a lot of beliefs that they created when they were really young, but they forgot that they chose to believe them. Later on, these show up as "what is", like it's the truth, and not like something we took on for ourselves in order to protect ourselves. These beliefs totally color how we perceive the world, and until we can see them as only a story that we made up, we're run by them. It brings the past into the present, and into the future.

For example, if your dad screamed at your mom a lot, if you're a girl you might have decided that men are mean or scary. If your mom cheated on your dad, or wasn't around for you when you felt you really needed her, and you're a guy, you may have decided that you can't trust women, or that they won't be there for you.

Mostly this stuff comes up when we're REALLY young, and it doesn't even have to have been a traumatic or bad situation, just something that happened and we decided things weren't how they should be, and we made a decision based on that.

For example, when I was 2 1/2 I felt really nauseated and tried to get my mom's attention (this is one of my two earliest memories.) She was on the phone, she shushed me, and she turned away. I decided that meant there was something wrong with me (kids NEVER make it mean there was something wrong with the parent, because we totally depend on them for our survival), that I wasn't loveable.

Then I couldn't hold it back anymore, and threw up in the dining room and down the hallway, which sure got her off the phone fast!

I unconsciously decided that who I was being before hadn't worked for me to get the love and attention I needed, so I was going to have to be dramatic in order to get it. A 2 year old made a decision that created my life.

How scary is that?!

What happened to you, and what did you decide? It could be that a younger sibling was born, or your father picked up your brother first when he came home from work, or your mom laughed at you when you said something.


What are your beliefs about the other gender, and relationships?: click here to read the entire thread »

seeing the highest in them and holding them in that light, and not making them wrong for the expressions of them that aren't that

loving someone is learning the song they sing in their heart, and singing it back to them when they forget


loving someone what does it mean to you: click here to read the entire thread »

Forgot to tick the "yes", this was in response to no women go around looking at guy's bulges... yes, some definitely do


Dose a girl like it when a guy looks at her breast ?: click here to read the entire thread »

no kidding, especially when they have them hanging out all over the place


Dose a girl like it when a guy looks at her breast ?: click here to read the entire thread »

ummm... some women do...


Dose a girl like it when a guy looks at her breast ?: click here to read the entire thread »

no I can't remember them all, I was a product of the 70's!!


How many of you can name every sexual partner through out your life and what was done.: click here to read the entire thread »

As good as it gets orgasm




hehe this is a funny game.....: click here to read the entire thread »

(Honesty and trust annoy you? )

For me, it's when they don't get that they have come into the relationship with their own issues, filters, beliefs, fears, and expectations, and blame their upsets on me, their children, my children, their boss, or their coworkers.

The Truth shall set you free. Blaming me or anyone else doesn't empower you at all, because no one else has any power to shift the situation. Blame and shame just block healing, and the first step to healing your issues is to recognize them as being yours. Blaming also just makes the other person feel made wrong and bad about themselves, which stops communication and the possibility of healing.

Own your stuff. Every single human being on the face of the planet feels deep down inside that we're not good enough, and we're all running around afraid to admit it to ourselves or anyone else. When we really get that we're all in this together, that we all feel bad about ourselves, that we all have stuff to heal, that our upsets ALL STEM FROM THIS FACT, and take full responsibility for what we're bringing to the situation, then we can have compassion for ourselves and our partners, and healing can begin.


Annoying things in a relationship: click here to read the entire thread »

My grandmother got tired of how they looked in the skyline.




TWIN TOWERS ???????: click here to read the entire thread »

Reading your post, I'm wondering how you're doing finding the relationship you're looking for, if you're going into the situation making women wrong.

How is that working for you?


True Love: click here to read the entire thread »