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The Green Banana: click here to read the entire thread »

Signs...: click here to read the entire thread »

TO: God.com
Dear Lord,

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:

God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.

Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.

When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.com

Amen


To all my computer friends :o): click here to read the entire thread »

OUR BANK ACCOUNT

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait....

'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.

'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged. It's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.
I am still depositing.' Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


This is AWESOME....something we should all remember. : click here to read the entire thread »

I left Florida to get away from that stifiling (sp?) heat!!!!!
This is my 3rd year in Tennessee and lovin' it! Right now the temps are in the upper 30's (f) it's only 7 am.
I love seeing & feeling the seasons change, something that DOESN'T happen in Miami, FL.


It's certainly over...... : click here to read the entire thread »

I don't know if you'd call it a classic, but I have 1968 Ford LTD. I am only the 2nd owner of the car. The first owner is my brothers mom-in-law, who bought it new in 1968. I'm told that was the last year that Ford used chrome bumpers on that model.


Anyone owns a clasic car?................: click here to read the entire thread »

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Wishing you the best life has to offer!!!!





















That means there is still hope for the rest of us


Thank a lot to connectingsingles for helping me to find wonderful partner: click here to read the entire thread »

I'm so sorry Joanne, please pass my condolences on to Eric.


I dont know what is going on here???????: click here to read the entire thread »

I usually say "cuss, cuss, cuss, dirty word, dirty word, dirty word." Then I count to 10 forwards & backwards a couple of times.


Got a substitute for Vulgar Language....?: click here to read the entire thread »

My favorite color.


Which Are You & Why?: click here to read the entire thread »

3 Brazilian soldiers: click here to read the entire thread »

These are Nashville , TN 's REAL 911 Calls!


Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: N o
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.


Believe it or not ,: click here to read the entire thread »

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."

Even if you've seen these before, they are still hilarious!!!
What DO they teach in journalism courses these days?
THE YEAR'S BEST (actual!) HEADLINES


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No, really?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya' think?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chain-saw Massacre all over again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


THE YEAR'S BEST (actual!) HEADLINES: click here to read the entire thread »

Where ya been Claayer??


Has the process changed: click here to read the entire thread »

Nicholas Cage


Who would you like to be with in an island where there were nobody else?: click here to read the entire thread »

here's your $5.95


Has the process changed: click here to read the entire thread »

for posting a picture?

I have been trying to post a pic, but every time I try to preview it, the pic doesn't show.

I've been clicking on the 'img' button & clicking in between for the pic but nothing shows up. Am I doing something wrong?


Has the process changed: click here to read the entire thread »

Hi Ginger, how's your H20pia coming along?


Word puzzle: click here to read the entire thread »

Old Age, I decided, is a gift: click here to read the entire thread »