Dear Santa,
Uh... First off, I want to apologize again for the thing with Rudolph; you should have warned him that the red nose would make him an easier target in East Tennessee during hunting season. If it's any consolation, the steaks were great and the backstrap was some of the most tender I've ever eaten, plus the jingle bells look great hanging from the tow bar on the back of my pickup.
Second, the standing order for hunting and fishing supplies has changed a bit this year: After the gall bladder surgery and resultant "urges", I'd like the new ground blind you're bringing me to include a porta-potty w/Preparation H dispenser. Also, a new pair of long-johns to replace the ones I ruined last year prior to full understanding of the aforementioned "urges" would be greatly appreciated. (The order for the self-loading/unloading canoe still stands.)
Third, my fishing buddy and Husband-In-Law, Wonderworker could use either a new key for adjusting his luggage rack or just a whole new rack - what ever would work best for hauling my canoe on those float-trips when we need two vehicles. (Also, since he is getting up in age, softer seats in the canoe would be greatly appreciated, as well.)
Last, but not least, would you please deliver copies of the United States Constitution and the Ten Commandments plus reading glasses to President Obama and all the members of Congress and the Senate? Either they have never read and studied these documents or their collective memories have failed - at any rate, I think they could all do with a refresher course and a reminder that the Federal government was meant to be "
Of the people,
by the people and
for the people" not "of those
in power, by those
in power and for the
special interest groups and politically correct sheeple."
Thanks in advance, Santa! The usual venison jerky, summer sausage and Corona will be waiting next to the woodstove, but hands off the Scotch, it's mine!
Your pal,
The Kansan
P.S. I'm running low on meat - reckon you could talk Blitzen into wearing a bullseye and standing broadside long enough for me to get off a quick shot?
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