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Most anyone would be a better choice...you don't have to reach the bottom of the barrel(again), to get a better experienced choice! JMO


Cast Your Protest Vote!: click here to read the entire thread »

Damn...that was a good one!


Obama..... El Fifthteeneio....The Messiah has risen! : click here to read the entire thread »

Who's to say that Nobama wont put us through even worse hell? With his "lack" of experience...he reminds me of a 6 year old...wanting to get behind the steering wheel! Watch Out!


Cast Your Protest Vote!: click here to read the entire thread »

Cast Your Protest Vote!: click here to read the entire thread »

Barak Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he
tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing
pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids
whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland '

Barak said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on my special
Senator's airplane.

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.

Barak said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign
them!'

The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV
and stereo headset!'

Barak was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like
you're handicapped.'

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from
drowning!'




3 Kids Went Fishing....: click here to read the entire thread »

Dumb Alabama Laws


# It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

# Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

# You may not drive barefooted.

# It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

# It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

# Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

# Masks may not be worn in public.

# Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

# Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

# Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

# It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

# Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.

# Incestuous marriages are legal.

# It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

# You must have windshield wipers on your car.

# You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Anniston
# You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

Jasper
# It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.

Lee County
# It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

Mobile
# It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.

# It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.

Montgomery
# It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)




This is the laws in Texas????: click here to read the entire thread »

Way to go Conrad... That's the best I've heard all day!!


If you were performing oral sex on a partner who accidentally farted, how would you react?: click here to read the entire thread »

....The Better I Used To Be!!!!!!


The Older I get.....: click here to read the entire thread »

I think the best one's are #39 & #40 they were sooo funny...


40 Things Never Said By Rednecks: click here to read the entire thread »

I can remember watching Hee Haw myself...that was a great show.




40 Things Never Said By Rednecks: click here to read the entire thread »

There ya go!


40 Things Never Said By Rednecks: click here to read the entire thread »

I haven't looked at your profile, but you might not be old enough to remember...


40 Things Never Said By Rednecks: click here to read the entire thread »

The infamous race car driver, from the past.


40 Things Never Said By Rednecks: click here to read the entire thread »

No offense to people from the south(I'm one of you), but some of these were so funny. Had to share!

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.




40 Things Never Said By Rednecks: click here to read the entire thread »

That's very true! Been there, done that!


Ramblings of a Retired Mind: click here to read the entire thread »

No...I can't take responsibility for this piece of work...as much as I'd like too! I can truly relate!



Ramblings of a Retired Mind: click here to read the entire thread »

Thanks!


Ramblings of a Retired Mind: click here to read the entire thread »

Thanks Don!


Ramblings of a Retired Mind: click here to read the entire thread »

Thanks...the "curve" might be my best chance...keeping fingers crossed!


Ramblings of a Retired Mind: click here to read the entire thread »

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.




Ramblings of a Retired Mind: click here to read the entire thread »