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Aha! Our local ice hockey team is the Fife Flyers. Though they're often in 'the box'! hahaha!


for all flyers out there...: click here to read the entire thread »

someone I know gave her husband a calculator when he was maoning cause he (she!) couldn't find the TV remote...

he didn't notice for at least an hour!!




why men are never REALLY depressed...: click here to read the entire thread »

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD - ‘SHIT’.


That's right, shit.

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.

There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some
days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times
when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit
or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek
without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a
bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of
the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything
else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not.

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a good day, without any shit.

But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some rotten turd, well,

Shit Happens!!!





Shit Happens....: click here to read the entire thread »

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD - ‘SHIT’.


That's right, shit.

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.

There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some
days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times
when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit
or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek
without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a
bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of
the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything
else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not.

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a good day, without any shit.

But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some rotten turd, well,

Shit Happens!!!





Shit Happens....: click here to read the entire thread »

So get sharp girl! Get familiar with what's under the bonnet of your car, - talk greasy!

It's got to be easy..........

men do it.







why men are never REALLY depressed...: click here to read the entire thread »

'Flyers'? do you mean Fife Flyers Chriss?? Ice hockey?




for all flyers out there...: click here to read the entire thread »

Ladies Don't Interrupt Your Husband: click here to read the entire thread »

A bloke desprate to use the toilet in a hospital is told by the nurse to use the ladies, but NOT to touch any buttons on the wall.

Inside there are 4 buttons marked WW, WA, PP & and a red one marked ATR.

Curious he pressed WW &was gently sprayed with warm water.

He then pressed WA & warm air dried him.

PP produced a powder puff so he decided to finish with ATR.

He woke up in hospital bed and the same nurse says "ATR means Automatic Tampon Remover. Your cock is under the pillow!!!





he's got to be curious...: click here to read the entire thread »

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".

Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."

"Well done, Roland," says the teacher.

"Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

Little Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbor, Barry Wilson, is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."



it's contagious it is..: click here to read the entire thread »

I'm here, - there, - very black and white, me.


Not translucent though, - being female.

I'm just in a silly mood for staying up and getting through more wine while trying to spell rite.

it could be friday! bugger the fact it's only.....what is it?


It's a mans' world afterall..: click here to read the entire thread »

glad to hear it.


what's your eacuse for being o her so late?

Sacked?

Pee'd the bed?


It's a mans' world afterall..: click here to read the entire thread »

C'mon...is this all it takes to keep your pecker up? YOUR SMILE that is!!

K


It's a mans' world afterall..: click here to read the entire thread »

A bloke desprate to use the toilet in a chicago hospital is told by the nurse to use the ladies, but NOT to touch any buttons on the wall.

Inside there are 4 buttons marked WW, WA, PP & and a red one marked ATR.

Curious he pressed WW &was gently sprayed with warm water.

He then pressed WA & warm air dried him.

PP produced a powder puff so he decided to finish with ATR.

He woke up in hospital bed and the same nurse says "ATR means Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow


"






men and abbreviations..: click here to read the entire thread »

aaaah, don't worry, BE HAPPY!






It's a mans' world afterall..: click here to read the entire thread »

Flight Crew........


While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female
crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information
regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc.

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan"

An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself,
"Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"

When the attendant came by he said "Did I understand you
right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the Attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."


"My God," he said, "I wish I had two double scotch and sodas.
I don't know what to think with only women up there in the
cockpit."

"That's another thing Sergeant," said the crew member,
"We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit."

"It's The Box Office"









women do fly....: click here to read the entire thread »

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.











It's a mans' world afterall..: click here to read the entire thread »

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.











why men are never REALLY depressed...: click here to read the entire thread »

Flight Crew........


While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female
crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information
regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc.

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan"

An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself,
"Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"

When the attendant came by he said "Did I understand you
right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the Attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."


"My God," he said, "I wish I had two double scotch and sodas.
I don't know what to think with only women up there in the
cockpit."

"That's another thing Sergeant," said the crew member,
"We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit."

"It's The Box Office"












for all flyers out there...: click here to read the entire thread »

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married.
>
>He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 2 other female friends in addition to my fiancée and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
>
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
>
> He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
>
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right, how did you know?"
>
>"I can't stand her."
>
>



Mum just know....: click here to read the entire thread »