jampet wrote:The International Rules of Manhood
1:Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
2:It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a)When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b)moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
(d)1 hour,12 minutes,37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3:Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buds.
4: Unless he murdered someone in ur family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temp is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for other man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point,you must celebrate at a strip bar of the bd boy's choice.
8: On a road trip,the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,you may ask the score of the game in progress, but may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach..and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral +/- physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison,never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down,that's his problem,you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love 2 watch sports" must be treated as spies til they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot,suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack,you'd better be talking about his beer.
20:Never join ur girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of urs, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21:Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a)Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b)C'mon, give me 1 more! Harder!
(c)Another set and we can hit the showers!
22:Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her.Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necc.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird + guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car.It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who answers the question "What do u want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox.End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.