Posted: Dec 29, 2007, 11:44 AM CST
I wanted to share a little personal philosophy about humor. I think, just as in writing, one should joke about what one doesn't know, or about things that don't relate to one's real life.
With that in mind, I'd like to talk about my first experiences as a construction-worker this last summer. Before them, I barely knew how to hammer a nail into a board. The closest thing I'd come to building something was constructing a paper airplane (and it didn't fly).
So I showed up at my first job with what I thought were the necessary tools - duct tape, some bailing wire, a chainsaw, and a reciprocating saw. Also, I wore fishnet underwear, because I wanted to make something of a fashion statement (not wanting to conform to the dull attire of typical construction workers).
The reception was less than stellar. First, they made endless fun of my fishnet shirt - our lady boss kept tweaking my nipples, damn her! - and snickered about my little battery-operated chainsaw. I told them it wasn't the size of one's chainsaw, but how one used it. But they just laughed at me.
My first job was to apply caulking to some windows, and right away the lady contractor started ragging on me.
"You're not putting enough caulk in there!" she sniggered. "You don't want to leave the job half-caulked!"
I rolled my eyes. "I suppose you want me to put my whole caulk into it, right?"
"Of course! How hard can it be?"
All day long it was like that. Then she sent me up on the roof to seal some leaks, and it got even worse.
"You can't use your soft white caulk up there," she called up to me. "You need thick black caulk for that job."
As though this job wasn't hard enough, now she had to personally humiliate me.
More later on my construction ex puriences, if I can find the courage to speak of them further.
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