huhanna: havent read the whole thread so not too sure if theres been a womans perspective on the subject.
once upon a time i would have wondered too babyvixon . . i would have said it was selfishness etc.
that was until i met a man that had three kids himself . . "not a problem" i thought . . "i can do this". i'm a great mama . . . and it was great for while . . when we had our own places . . we were together for 3 years and the trouble didnt start until i moved in with them all. it lasted for less than a year after that.
i tired . . i really tried . . i really loved that guy and i still miss him at times. but being a step parent is one of the toughest things i've ever done. and yes i'd think very carefully before entering into another relationship where there were young children involved.
these days i have a lot more respect for people who make it work . . and i also respect those who dont want to do it . . its a huge responsibility and it takes more than a dash of sainthood . .
Hi, Anna -
I had what I thought was an interesting thought: having or not having children changes the kind of person you are most compatible with, though your ideally compatible "other" doesn't change.
In other words, let's say you have young children. Lady A is incredibly compatible with you in terms of values, personality, etc., but simply does not want to embrace parenthood for any number of possible reasons. Lady B is less compatible with you in terms of personality, but loves children and is interested in parenthood. In this case, your are what one might call more "circumstantially compatible" with Lady B. So because you have young children, you could potentially end up with someone who is less compatible with you in other important respects, but since a potential parent is your only option, if you wish romance you'll need to settle.
This kind "circumstantial compatibility" could apply in many other ways. For instance, let's say you meet someone a fair distance away who is far more compatible with you than a local lady - but you are unwilling or unable to relocate, so your only practical option is to go with the less compatible local lady.
This relationship thing can be fun, hey?
Why do men run from a single parent?: click here to read the entire thread »